Whoof!

So. we set out at six for a wander. I'd decided that we could have a Bank Holiday Stroll because firstly it was a bank holiday, and secondly because Those Next Door had started shouting and slamming stuff at about 5:30.

The sun was warming the parts her fingers could reach. Being low in the sky there were patches of shadow and damp mixed in with warm and bright, which made aperture and exposure more than a little complicated.

Seren was sat on my lap at early o'clock listening to me reading web comics and has come to the conclusion that she isn't a puppydog, she's a Dorble. Riight. Unfortunately that is also the phrase the first two people we met chose to use, and this has just re-enforced in her little puppy

*Dorble"

dorble mind that she is indeed a Dorble. I'm not sure if that means if I press her nose she goes Ding Dong...we must make further tests...

I made the mistake of putting the lead under my foot whilst I took a shot of a bluebell.in the woods

"My pappa say I ne'should eat alla blubbles inna WOOD!"
and she p...sorry?

"You saying that words when you taking' a photeygaff"...

You mean I was talking to myself?

"NO! You talkin' to your Dorble!"

Riiight...thw Dorble in question tugged, pulled the lead from under my foot and was off up the path like a greased whippet. And this time she wasn't stopping for a GGB! I ran after her.

Let me say that again, so you can appreciate the whole horror.

I RAN after her. Me! I ran. This...shape...is not designed for running. It is designed for sipping Pina Coladas out of breast-shaped glasses on sunny beaches whilst dusky maidens shimmy an...'scuse me, I need a cold shower...
Right. Running. I have Asthma, COPD and a portion of my stomach missing due to cancery crud. After 200 yards, and 200 years, I was gaining, but she was heading for the M6 motorway...

Suddenly she was thwarted by that fiendish device. A kissing gate. She came to a stop. I grabbed at her lead. I missed. I put my foot on her lead and waited for the shaking and swearing to stop.

After about 2 minutes I remembered how to breathe...

She didn't know what the problem was. She probably thought we were playing. Getting cross would not solve any problems. Besides, if it meant I had to move it wasn't going to happen for a while.

I waited, wheezing and squeaking, vibrating gently, whilst Seren investigated a rabbit

"Sweepotay!"

sweepotay hole. Her snoofling is now of such a standard that she can detect things over an inch from her f...are you eating that soil, Seren?

"You like fresh ground! I try!"

What? Oh! Idiot...I like fresh ground coffee, not fresh gro...stop eating it when I'm talking to you!

Also...why do you have tomato sauce on your head?

"I'm a hot dog!"

Oh, droll. Very droll...

We followed the canal. Seren didn't fall in. Not even once. So I'd set the camera on *Slapstick* mode for nothing...
We met some horses. Seren is convinced, because one horse had her colour and markings, that she is actually going to become that size. Looking at her of late I am not sure she's wrong...sadly she also found some horse poo. Sadly she also found the horse poo delicious...

We headed home, over a bridge. A duck exploded from underneath. Seren jumped.

"So you jumped too! You said 'JebuChrise! Whadafogdat!' an in a squeaky voice when Scareycrow Quack comed out!"

Watch your language! No...watch MY language. Shut up. It made me jump!

And so we headed home. We met some of the crew putting up lighting poles again. Seren had befriended a few of the gang yesterday, and they all stopped again to say Hi and get a wash... It is probably cruel of me but I think it mildly amusing that the crew putting in the new lighting poles are all Poles...
And home. Seren went straight to her cage and Grarfoofed the next two hours away. I played with the pics.

Sounds like a very adventurous walk

Seren you Dorble
When you talk
You warble

Oh Gaz!

I am in tears of laughter.