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Jessica
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Jessica is offline  
Location: Gloucestershire
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 3,033
Female 
 
03-03-2006, 04:05 PM

Dear Dogs and Cats...

I just got this emailed to me and i thought it was funny!! Maybe thats just a sign that i have too many animals...



Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim on it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out
the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm .

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, bark, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years; canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

*Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:*

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.(That's why they call it "fur" niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Dogs and cats are better than kids...they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college--and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.
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minky
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Location: Edinburgh
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 7,168
Female 
 
03-03-2006, 04:11 PM
Excellent and very true!!
Love the *Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:*
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Trixybird
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Location: West Sussex
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,948
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03-03-2006, 06:28 PM
True............
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Brundog
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Location: w
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 10,769
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03-03-2006, 07:05 PM
i got this sent to me - I love it - have it printed out and in my hallway !!!
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chelsea
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Location: kent
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,212
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04-03-2006, 12:56 AM
very true
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