Hazardous Materials Information Bulletin

Material Safety Data Sheet no: EC 36C-24-36

“Woman” : A Chemical Analysis

Element: Woman
Symbol: WO
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 53.6Kg, but may vary from 40 – 200Kg
Occurrence: Copius quantities in all urban areas

Physical Properties

1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason to man.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points.

Chemical Properties

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs large quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously or without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in water, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

Common Uses

1. Highly ornamental and fragrant, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.

Tests

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Potential Hazards

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.

WARNING

PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE
PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE

Unless you are of a cohesive material!

I've seen this before, it always makes me giggle, there is a male version as well that is hilarious

TW Do you like to live dangerously You do know that there are one thousand women for each man on this forum

Talking of hazardous materials, we were discussing your local recycling 'jobs worth' guy recently, well our guy (Not a 'jobs worth') gave me a really good laugh the other day when he handed me the brochure on the place and said have a look on the back.

That's the bit where it says what is NOT allowed, and No.1 on the list was...................................live amunition & explosives Would anyone with more than two brain cells try to dump live amunition or explosives in a recycling centre