I would like to think I answer threads as I would face to face. I try not to offend but as someone has said - it is not always possible to get your point across as you would in a conversation (facial expressions etc). There have been a couple of instances when i have posted and then felt I have been a bit harsh, on these occasions I have PMed the person and explained.
I believe in being honest and it would bother me more not saying something that I felt was important, than posting and possibly getting some peoples backs up. It is just getting the balance right that sometimes can be hard.
I agree with Shona that the negative points will be interesting as you dont know how people view your posts

I try my hardest not to be judgmental on any subject. Sometimes it's hard but I know that by judging people, being negative, having the 'I know best' attitude, does not get you anywhere. I would prefer to be supportive and maybe give a little friendly advice, if I feel that someone is not acting in the best interest of their dog. To alienate people with a bad attitude, is just a waste of an opportunity to help another human being and their pet.

I will admit though, that once someone has put my back up, I do let rip (some may have noticed this ). If people show no respect for me, then I let them have it. Just as I would in real life.

My belief, having been a member on several forums over the last couple of years, there is always a "clique" on every forum, of those that feel the need to express their "wisdom" on every subject, with the least tact that any human can muster. They usually all gather on the same thread and back each other up Such people, to me, are no better than bullies and I will back other people up that they are opposing, as I hate to see anyone being bullied! Bullying is dispicable and unacceptable in any walk of life.

I try to be tactful and kind when tact and kindness is apt. I always read my posts through before I submit and, very often, I will tone down what I have said, as I really do not intend to cause offence (on the whole). When I do wish to cause offence, I make it clear that I am doing so and will only do this in retaliation to rudeness/bitching

Hi i agree with Cheeky Chihuahua - i am a fairly recent member to this forum and you can definitely identify the people who like to put the boot in and also the trouble makers - and CC is right its always the same people who join in. I also will back someone up if i think they are getting a raw deal.

I try to answer positively to threads - if i can't help or sometimes i might have an opinion that i think is better kept to myself as sometimes its just tit for tat and someone has to end it somewhere or it just goes on and on.

It make me laugh when people are quite nasty and you retaliate and then they have the audacity to ask why you are getting defensive ! sometimes you can explain things till you are blue in the face and i accept that everyone has their opinion but some just won't see your side of things.

I agree that you should never be nasty to anyone but that doesnt mean to say you cant point out the facts.

Some people are ignorant on some subjects - fact.
There are many things i know nothing about! So i would rather be told honestly and openly what i am doing wrong than for people to pretend everything is ok for fear of hurting my feelings.

Imo some people on this forum are going on to much about "the bad people" and making everything worse than it is.

Dogs come first to me, and i agree it is better to educate than just judge.
But you shouldnt hold back opinions....it is a public forum isnt it?

Hi Sarah While people are of course responsible for that which they write and post online, they can't be responsible for how some people choose to interpret that which has been written. Some people love a drama and can't resist seeing 'criticism' when most reasonable people will see none is intended.

I try to think carefully about the things I write and I am aware of not only the other members who read the posts on the forums but the hundreds of other people who are not members here but come to the site looking for information .
I try to make my posts detailed and informative and to share the things I have learn over the years in the hope that it will help those who are looking for information. I also appreciate that while it is important to help and advise we should not be seen to condone 'bad practise' and we shouldn't be afraid to speak out when we think something is wrong, this is after all a site for dog lovers not dog exploiters .

I agree Honeysmum however if you look you will see the people who ' go on' are few in number, they seem to be more because they are frequently the ones who shout the loudest.
There are those who post on forums who it seems are incapable of having an adult debate. If you don't agree with them they see this as some kind of personal criticism, I guess they must be quite insecure about their own opinions. This is an adult forum and we adults should be able to have a debate/put forward views without people taking a difference of opinion as personal criticism, if they are unable to do this they really should keep away from forums and not spoil things for the majority.

There's nothing "adult" about being rude and overly-judgmental.

If some of the behaviour/attitude on Dogsey over the past couple of days has been people being "adult" then I have obviously got the wrong idea of what adult means I have been positively ashamed over the judgmental attitude to new members in the last couple of days. How many new members do we want to see running for the hills, because they get "jumped" on when they join Dogsey. Don't take my word for it, look at the posts from some new members on here over the past couple of weeks. Some people join for advice/chat and get a really hard time.

The answer from these people that "jump" is always the "I have a right to my opinion" "this is a public forum" and so on......................til the cows come home What about giving people the benefit of the doubt and showing a bit of kindness and humility like most members do.

If my attitude that you should be kind and not judgmental is immature, then I'm happy to be immature, thanks, if "adult" is upsetting people and being completely unwelcoming I actually saw a new member get ridiculed and humiliated over a wrong spelling yesterday - there is no excuse for that!

I'm glad to see there are like-minded people here, GreyhoundK. I can't see why people want to pass judgment on others so readily, unless of course, it makes them feel better about themselves

There is always this talk of "putting the dogs first" when certain members are blunt and unwelcoming in their attitude. Don't they realise that by talking down to people and judging them unfairly, makes people run. Whereas if they "educated" people in a kind and friendly fashion, they would be helping the dogs in the long run...............I think some people don't see the bigger picture

I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion whatever that may be, but sometimes people become very narky over simple questions, and rather than answer or decline to answer the question the become defensive or antagonistic. Which I believe makes the person asking the question more inclined to pursue the question they originally asked.
I don't see how anyone can have a healthy debate if narkiness is allowed to creep in.
So I will always try to remain polite and civil, and will even attempt to defend others in a reasonable manner, if I think they have been treated unfairly.

I would say that having been on Dogsey for so many years now, it HAS actually taught me to be more aware of how people perceive me, rather than just letting myself barge in without engaging brain prior to opening great big gob!!! The mere fact that I can stop, read and THINK, before hitting button, has in fact made me a far better person in real life (I know that coz I know me very well!!! )I've always been a tell it like it is person, I never really stopped to think whether I might offend anybody, I'd always just blurt it out, coz basically I'm as honest as the day's long and the truth shouldn't really hurt anyone should it? I speak as I find, and I'd much rather be dealt with like that by other people than pussyfooting around or being deceiptful, coz that's one thing I'd never be.

Having said all of that, however, if I'm wriled, or I think an animal might be in danger, then I don't stop, read and think, I just hit it!!! I suppose that might insinuate that I just don't care, which I probably don't, if somebody has got my back up! Yes, I've decided, the ONLY time, I stop and think before hitting the send button is maybe with somebody suffering emotional problems, coz I would hate to think, that in their current state of mind, I might end up making them worse or hurting their feelings, but apart from that, they can take it or leave it, coz I won't change ME just by typing what I'm thinking, coz to me, that makes you out to be something you are not. If you're not a particularly horrid type of person, then why would being downright honest come out as offensive, coz you wouldn't have that in your make-up to do it would you?

I don't think I could be a counsillor, I'm a very good listener, but my openness and frankness would probably get me the sack , and I don't suffer fools, I'd have to tell them to get their a*se into gear and stop being used as a doormat or something! Lol! I'd also be too matter of fact, I can't do the softly softly approach when my blood is boiling! Then again,that's down to honesty again though isn't it, so tell it like it is I say and every time! Failing that, keep big gob shut if you know what's good for you I suppose!!!

I agree very much with all the above posts.

I like to try to "funny" up a situation that has gone horrid. Perhaps that's my way of avoiding any confrontation and keeping the peace? I'm also very annoying for mostly sitting on the fence as I have a strong ability to always see both sides. Drives my Best Friend mad but I can't help it ;o)

But, I will also a) stand up for myself if I believe in something and b) stand up for someone else (no matter whether they are friend or foe on here) if I think someone has been unnecessarily unkind to them.

"Freedom of speech" should be replaced with "constructive criticism only" IMO. There are a few on here who I think have been really harsh, mean and upsetting to some people, even me and I DO NOT agree with that. They are very thoughtless.

Sarah, you're ace for being able to see everyone positively, regardless. I think that is one thing I will never be able to do. In my personal life I get very cross with people who don't help themselves (i.e. winge about how rubbish something is but do nothing to stop it) and who are rude and disrespectful to others. These types of people along with the usual racists (cannot stand!!) and animal cruelty offenders (no time for them at all) I have little to no time for.