Hi Alex,

Hope you are ok, and come out of this a happy woman. Take care xx

Sorry to here this Alex,you follow your heart hun and do whats right for you.Your perfect as you are inside and out,I wouldn't change you for the world,xxxxxxxxxx

Oh Alex, I don't really know what to say. What a dilemma for you hun.
All you can do at the end of the day is follow your heart and do what you feel is right. Do not try to please anyone else in this - you must do what is right for you.
((Hugs))

Your own advice is always the best advice, what would you tell someone else they should do? Please don't take him back just for fear of being alone and wanting a family/future as you will find that with someone else who appreciates you. I have no doubt that he loves you and realises now that he was stupid but the thing is, if he didn't think those things in the first place then he wouldn't have ever said them! My point is, you can find someone who loves you, thinks you are gorgeous AND APPRECIATES YOU for who you are now and would never even think of saying those things to you and would never even DREAM of asking you to change. If you think now that it will always be in the back of your mind what he said, then you will always think that maybe he's wanting you to loose weight or isn't happy with you and unless you can honestly say that you can totally forget it all then it probably isn't worth salvaging as it will just tear you apart in the long run. JMO, been there before myself hun with exactly the same situation (without being engaged to marry!).

ALL the best with whatever you decide. x

It is never easy facing these issues but one or two of your comments stuck out in my mind. You seem to say that you know what the best thing to do would be and you know if you were talking to a friend giving them advice in your situation then you would tell them to leave.......i think that is always a really good way to see the wood for the trees so to speak..........what would you tell a friend.

The other thing is that you don't want to be alone. In 1999 my husband ended our marriage and because of that i was made homeless. I hade been with him since i was 18 years old and had never know anything different. To say my world collapsed is simplifiying what happened. I hated being alone an dwould do anything not to be in my own company. I am now 35 and i can honestly say that the time since our split has been a rollercoaster but also a massive learning curve and although the time has been exceptionally hard it has also been the best time of my life.

I have learnt so much about myself and the most valuable lessons i have learnt are to love myself and really enjoy my company.


Only after learning to enjoy my own company did i finally meet a wonderful man who is good for me, and i for him.

Sometimes it takes a massive scary leap into the dark to turn our lives around. .....now all you have to decide is which way you leap!

xx

catrin

Your comments make me think you've made your decision and want to stick to it Alex. It's never easy letting go and no one wants to be alone but it's not the answer to stay if you know it's the wrong decision. Only you can decide though hun and I don't envy you the dilemma. We are here if you need us though. Big hugs xx

very good advice.. do what feels right for you.

Oh hun, you must be feeling rotten right now

All I can say is follow your heart, but whatever you do don't let your head lead you into doing something you honestly don't want to because your worried of being alone, you are stronger than that

Hugs comming your way (((hugs))) xxxx

Oh, Alex. So sorry to be hearing this. You must be feeling really low just now. Keep strong.

Only you'll know how you truly feel. If it helps, I really think you've done the right thing in calling the wedding off, and least you will have time to think think things through properly before jumping in to anything.

Sounds to me like he wants you to be someone else, and not the lovely person you are. You shouldn't have to change for anyone if you don't want to. If he loves you, he'll love you for who you are, and not the person he wants you to be, and that goes the other way too, of course.

He'll be very lonely if looks are all he's after more than anything else, perhaps that's what he deserves.

Maybe you should have a short break from each other to think about things, to see how you both feel, then talk things over again. Just a thought.

All the best.

thanks for all the support guys.

He has since text me and apologised AGAIN nadwhen i came home he had gotten me a Big bunch of flowers (and they are my faves) with a card saying

Sorry, I love you completely - Rick

and he has put the massive gorrilla he bought me for valentines day a few yrs back in my bed with a note saying "cuddle me if you feel lonely"

I so know he is sooooooo sorry and is devastated at what he said...he himself doesnt know why he said it

BUT

i dont know,,,,it will always linger and make me feel like , does he really think that way or that im not good enough....

It seems daft to throw away a 5yr relationship over a comment but i honestly will not be able to forget it.