Just worked out why I'm down today. It's 4 years today that my beloved Tala was killed
Becky

I am sorry Becky it is a sad day for you, anniversarys like this seem to knock you for six and it is so hard not to think about what happened. Sending big hugs to you.

ah sweetie im so sorry , big mega hugs hun xxdk

just popped in to say im thinking of you hun xxzbxx

i went to the doctor and he was off so i saw a locum,she was very nice,i explained the flash backs im having something i dont think ive explained to anyone here goes,when my dad died i was here at home he lived in birmingham,and id been over with the kids to visit and was booked to go again on the 21st well i called that morning as usasll after the kids had gone to school it was a thursday,and linda said oh he is fine im just getting him up to get his tablets,at 3 minutes to 10 she called to say hed died,it was quick for him wll them i was panicked to get over to see him and couldnt get a flight the one i booked was cancelled,then i went to wrong airport and then it was gates closed but they let me through then it was delayed and i didnt get to brum till 11.0clock pm and theyd taken him,well my sister who i dont get on with was asking whats he left me,she never spoke to my dad and this was forseen and anything was signed to linda my step-mum,then my other sister i dont tlk to i had to stay with her and well by the time i saw dad a week later i couldnt do it,i walked in got within 6 ft of my dad and it just wasnt him and i cant forget that scene i wake up at night and im back there or there but hes not dead and hes knocking on the coffin,not lastnight the night before i dreamed my dad and i was driving to see someone and we couldnt get the lorry out so we walked but he wasnt wearing owt but shorts and the dog we had with us feel down a well and was floating by the time i got him out hed gone from a papillion to a staff iv never owned either neither has me dad i dont understand it,the doctor thinks its unwise to change my tablets and i shouldnt be on my own till they work as the dreams are getting worse not better i dreamed of him for 4 months till one night i felt someones hand on my head as i was going to sleep,then it just stopped now im feeling him sit on the bed,all i want to know is ,is he ok and did he know he was going to die?if so was he affraid?i miss him terribly i dont know what day it is half the time or if im coming or going so excuse me peeps if im not on that often when i start to rally il be back to my usall self xxzbxx

Oh ZB big hugs to you sweetheart, your dad is with you I believe that, when I was at my worst at the start of my depression, I felt my dad touch my face with both hands, and no-one can tell me any different I just knew it was him, also feeling him gently sitting on my bed. I know he is there looking after me. This is what your dad is doing for you he is trying to tell you not to worry and is trying to give you comfort. I feel we are blessed to have these happenings, so hang on to the thought that he is with you.

thanks i tried to give you a rep point it wouldnt let me thanks xxxxx

i gave her a point sis on your behalf ,as i know what youre are going threw we have talked often and i know the pain you have in your heart be strong sis ,thanx HZ for your kind support to my sis xxdk

haven a bad day as its saturday, and my boy went to the bridge on a sat , 18/12 months ago and ever since i have hated sat ,i cant stop thinking about him lately i even imagine seeing him walking around house an garden , last night i could have sworn i heard him cry to be let out , when i went to cheek the girls were sound asleep ~(snorring) and i felt something brush against my leg ,its not the first time its happened , strange things have been going on since he died , i like to believe he is still with me xxdk

Hi everyone, still feeling pretty low, but havent got that horrid black cloud hanging over my head, I'm begining to get used to waking up alone, which has been the hardest thing for me

This afternoon I had a knock on the door and he was there with her and the baby, how dare he , 'can we come in' 'er no' I said, 'but the baby needs changing' 'you have the back seat of the car' they didn't like it but tuff, anyway the reason for the visit, he wanted me to go halfs on the gas/leccie bill, oh dear it was £417 (combined), oops how careless of me , I told him where to stuff the bill, and I'm assuming as he came to me with the bill his solicitors have told him I'm not responsible for it, he left red with anger and me laughing, but what is playing on my mind is that the baby's been born, so just how long has he had this thing with her, well at least 9 months, how stupid have I been, how blind to think everything was alright, never ever again will anyone be able to do that to me.