Oh....fudge!

Appologies if I am either not about, or unresponsive to text, phone or housebrick to the back of the head for a while.

There is a local newspaper that has an online presence. Not local to here, just local to a certain town. I read it daily, for reasons that will become clear shortly.

The paper had a headline on Wednesday, that a man had assaulted/abused several children over several days as they returned home from school across a park, in a village in the area that the paper covers.

The village is where I am pretty sure my ex wife and children live.
The school is the one I am fairly certain they both attend.
The park is the one they would have to cross to get to their home.
So...I worry.

Yesterday I contacted my solicitor, to see if she could just check that my two have not been in any way harmed, hurt or upset by this. (The school is a village school, there aren't that many children...I'm not panicking for panic's sake. The odds are not good...)

At lunchtime I got a reply...

"You ex wife's solicitor informs me that she is not obliged to provide that information, and choses not to do so"

Lovely.

I am assuming from this that they are both fine, and she is just twisting the knife a bit more, because she can. Consider it twisted.
Currently ( and I know these feelings are transient, and silly, and I will shake the *down*, but gimme a break, I'm not in a good place in my head at the moment, what with one thing and another), I feel
A) Unwanted
B) Un-necessary
C) Unloved
D) Impotent
E) Unimportant
F) Surplus to requirements.

I don't want you to think I hate her, or hate her on my behalf. She's only human, and the mother of my children, and the woman I once loved, and possibly still do. Who is to say that were our positions reversed I wouldn't do the same?

For those who know the phrase/terminology, I am not rope collecting. I will overcome this *Argh! Meh!* feeling. I am strong enough to work through it. I understand the exact processes that are making me feel this way, and I know, through lots and lots of practice, that it will, eventually, make me a stronger person.
I will light a candle shortly, but just for now I'm having a rage against the darkness, because, well, because it is cathartic and helps me get my thoughts in focus, it gives you (if you've waded through this much guff) an idea why I just snubbed you/insulted you/punched you in the mouth/was not the happy bunny/party animal that I usually am, and it will remind me, when next things go breasts vertical, that I can recover, that I do want to go on, and that the b******s I was thinking last night was just tiredness and lack of sleep talking.

And just in case you were worrying/wondering, there is nothing quite like a Stoopid Dog giving you hugs and kisses to remind you that you are not totally alone and unloved . The hoovering the eyeballs clean was a free gratis bonus...


Okay...nothing to see here. Move along, please.

Hope putting it in black and white made you feel better about it. Dogs are wonderful cuddle monsters in times of need and we are here if/when you need us.
Cassie sends her hoovering eyeball powers to you also xx

Writing it down does help (I hope)
Lots of huggles from my 'stoopid' ones

Fudge thought you were writing to her. She sends big licks anyway......

Sorry to hear this Gaz. Ex's can be extremely acrimonious as times - I know, I have two......

Hope you can gain some peace from the knowledge that your kids are safe at least.

Big hugs from us darling, we are always here for you xoxox

Well I think she could have had the common courtesy to let you know they were OK to be honest. Just my immediate reaction.
I have been divorced twice, both extremely acrimonious (them not me), but would have had the good manners to reply 'We're fine thank you, now .... off'

hope you feel better about stuff soon. she could have just let you know they were all ok.

sending some of blackie's big licks and kisses to cheer you up.

sue

ps forget the negative speak cos you are none of those things on this forum