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Vicki
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Vicki is offline  
Location: In a land far, far away
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27-07-2007, 05:43 AM

Good morning everyone !

Morning all,

Oh, I do love Fridays

I’ll be nice and busy today, because from 1pm I’m actually doing the work of three people. I certainly won’t be bored.

Some good news – I can get physio for my Achillles tendonitis on my company private health .
I have my first consultancy appointment on Tuesday morning.

I shan’t post any more today, as the gem is long, but very funny, so I’ll leave you all to it

Have a great day, everyone, and stay safe

Today’s gem (long but very worth it!) :
A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy,
"If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR cell phone and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA
satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP
Laser Jet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this
is a herd of sheep."
"Now give me back my dog."
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scorpio
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27-07-2007, 05:46 AM
Morning Vicki, morning all,

Loved the gem

I'm back at work today and, typically, its dry - I couldn't get any work done yesterday as it rained hard all day, never mind.

I hope your heel gets better for your holiday Vicki, its miserable if you're in pain when you're away from home and especially when you want to be enjoying yourself.

Have a good Friday everyone
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Blackie's Mum
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27-07-2007, 05:51 AM
good morning all

my ex is coming to see dan and stay for part of the weekend so wont be around much i guess. also got step son from this afternoon till sunday morning and then again on monday for the night. thinking of taking a contract out on next door or asking him to get his back door fixed so he doesnt keep slamming it all the time. glad blackie doesnt waste his time barking at it. off back to vets at tea time - we got a problem now as blackie has sussed out why we are giving him cheese - have been putting his pills in it.

have a good friday all and keep safe and well

sue

ps sunny here at the moment
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Vicki
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27-07-2007, 06:13 AM
Originally Posted by scorpio View Post
Morning Vicki, morning all,

Loved the gem

I'm back at work today and, typically, its dry - I couldn't get any work done yesterday as it rained hard all day, never mind.

I hope your heel gets better for your holiday Vicki, its miserable if you're in pain when you're away from home and especially when you want to be enjoying yourself.

Have a good Friday everyone
Morning Sheree


Originally Posted by Blackie's Mum View Post
good morning all

my ex is coming to see dan and stay for part of the weekend so wont be around much i guess. also got step son from this afternoon till sunday morning and then again on monday for the night. thinking of taking a contract out on next door or asking him to get his back door fixed so he doesnt keep slamming it all the time. glad blackie doesnt waste his time barking at it. off back to vets at tea time - we got a problem now as blackie has sussed out why we are giving him cheese - have been putting his pills in it.

have a good friday all and keep safe and well

sue

ps sunny here at the moment
Morning Sue
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Ramble
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27-07-2007, 06:17 AM
Morning all.
Tough day here, our first without Mo. Have to arrange the cremation stuff and try to find something to remember him with and just try to get through the day without sobbing all the time. Tomorrow will be easier and at least its now me thats hurting and not my furball.
Sorry...think I just put a downer on the morning thread.Sorry guys, whilst upset, I am at this stage, just really happy i knew him.

Hope youall have a safe day. Thanks to everyone. x
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Mummy2Max
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27-07-2007, 06:18 AM
Morning morning morning!

Off to see my physiotherapist this morning, and probably have him tell me off because I'm doing too much at work not had an appointment with him for a few weeks but I think he might be dissapointment with my progress since I had the NHS physio

Busy day at work today, and I'm going to be in agony after physio this morning no rest for the wicked!

Have a great day everyone xxxxxx
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CLMG
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27-07-2007, 06:26 AM
Morning Vicki, morning all, this is a bit early for me, but I was set on my a happy pup and a really loud squeeky toy he has no concept of time that boy hopefully having a quiet day in today, hope you all have a good one.
Christine
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wufflehoond
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27-07-2007, 06:31 AM
Morning Vicki, morning all. Great gem Vicki. It's a glorious sunny morning up here so we're off to the beach shortly and to the cafe on the seafront for a cooked breakfast sat outside with madame at our feet. Off to B&Q this afternoon to get new tiles for the fire...does it never end? Have a good Friday everyone.
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Lynn
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27-07-2007, 06:32 AM
Morning Vicki,morning all sun is out at the moment.
Loved the gem Vicki.
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Vicki
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27-07-2007, 06:58 AM
Originally Posted by Ramble View Post
Morning all.
Tough day here, our first without Mo. Have to arrange the cremation stuff and try to find something to remember him with and just try to get through the day without sobbing all the time. Tomorrow will be easier and at least its now me thats hurting and not my furball.
Sorry...think I just put a downer on the morning thread.Sorry guys, whilst upset, I am at this stage, just really happy i knew him.

Hope youall have a safe day. Thanks to everyone. x
Morning Ailsa xox - we know how you feel honey *hug* xox

Originally Posted by Mummy2Max View Post
Morning morning morning!

Off to see my physiotherapist this morning, and probably have him tell me off because I'm doing too much at work not had an appointment with him for a few weeks but I think he might be dissapointment with my progress since I had the NHS physio

Busy day at work today, and I'm going to be in agony after physio this morning no rest for the wicked!

Have a great day everyone xxxxxx
Morning Hayley

Originally Posted by CLMG View Post
Morning Vicki, morning all, this is a bit early for me, but I was set on my a happy pup and a really loud squeeky toy he has no concept of time that boy hopefully having a quiet day in today, hope you all have a good one.
Christine
Morning Christine

Originally Posted by wufflehoond View Post
Morning Vicki, morning all. Great gem Vicki. It's a glorious sunny morning up here so we're off to the beach shortly and to the cafe on the seafront for a cooked breakfast sat outside with madame at our feet. Off to B&Q this afternoon to get new tiles for the fire...does it never end? Have a good Friday everyone.
Morning Jackie - you're gonna miss Fridays at home....

Originally Posted by Lynn View Post
Morning Vicki,morning all sun is out at the moment.
Loved the gem Vicki.
Morning Lynn
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