Ingredients:

* 2 cups flour * 1 cup of brown sugar
* 1 stick butter * Lemon juice
* 1 cup of water * 4 large eggs
* 1 tsp baking soda * Nuts
* 1 cup of sugar * 1 bottle wine
* 1 tsp salt * 2 cups of dried fruit


Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again.
To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make
sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... just in case. Turn off the
mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit
gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the
wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.
Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one
table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget
to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish
the wine and wipe counter with the cat.