Good post Claire and Daisy. The thing with forums is you do not actually know the people you are talking to. On another forum I have seen a young girl being groomed by a supposed trainer wanting to meet her with her dog, thankfully this person was exposed before that happened, but there was a lot of people taken in by him first. I expect many on here will remember the story of the tramp who left their dog to a member and how the member had to arrange his funeral as he had nobody, and it seemed this person was hoping people would donate money, it was all a load of lies. It does go on all the time and I think this is what makes people very wary especially with members that haven't been on the forum very long. I think a lot of new members get questioned just so that people can suss out as much as they can about that person. What I am trying to say is you have to take the good with the bad on forums as we have to in real life. Hope that makes sense.

Maybe Mum To Many, but I wish they'd been aired on a seperate thread

CandD I think you misunderstood my OP. I wasn't saying that you are all counsellors . I was just saying why I had started to think more about what I post and the affect it has on others.

Like I explained to Losos - I'm not saying people on forums should have UPR, empathy etc. It's only because I've been doing a lot of personal development recently that I've started to think more about my actions and how they affect others.

So just to reiterate, my counselling training doesn't really have anything to do with it, it was just the reason why I started the thread

Plenty of material on here for your counselling for sure !

Your reason for putting the post up is relevant IMO because otherwise you wouldn`t have mentioned it. You have your own way of looking at the question which is necessarily coloured by your present opinions etc. (Which is fine)
I think most people here understand that their posts might affect others. otherwise there`s not a whole lot of point posting.

I disagree. I post to get my point across, not to affect someone but I am mindful in how and what I post as I do not want to hurt people's feelings. There is a way to get that point across and being blunt imo shows no regard to people's feelings.

Mmmmmmmmmmm........................I would have thought so too

Pidge, you make a very valid point. Some people are afraid to ask advice on here, because there are so many that will just "jump" and "lecture" rather than give good friendly advice. It's all a case of knowing how to give advice. If you shove advice down someone's throat in a critical manner, the advice doesn't always hit the right note!

With regard to an earlier comment by somebody, as to why some of us "negative" people stick around (not sure that "negative" is the right word to have used) for me, I stick around for two reasons:

1. Why should I let the bullies hound me off the site. I can stand up for myself (and others) but I won't be quiet. If I feel there is bullying going on. It is my right to state that, as my opinion.

2. I have "met" some very nice, like-minded people on Dogsey and, on the whole, I think it is a shame that these people and myself are afraid to ask for advice, in case it is shoved in our faces at a later date.

I once mentioned that my Pebbles barked at unknown dogs because she had been attacked by a JRT and a Chow when she was a pup. So what happens, some nice person brings it up on a CM thread, saying basically that I'd shot myself in the foot because I use CM methods and I had a dog with "problems" - how nasty and vile is that!!!!!! ???????

Sorry if it has put some noses out by me saying that there are some very judgmental people, ruining it for others and newcomers on Dogsey. It appears that I'm not the only one to think this though

In fairness though CC, people come on here and ask for advice then take offence when some advice is offered. No one comes on and asks only for advice that they agree with, the request is a general one. Some members get very touchy very quickly and take the best intentioned advice as personal insults...or refuse to take it as they don't agree with it/don't need it. That's fine as that is entirely up to them, but let's not condemn those people who offer advice that the OP doesn't want or agree with.

As for some one bringing up the fact that you have a dog that barks at others on a CM thread....well people mention previous posts on here all the time.I don't think it is a vile or nasty thing to do, but without seeing the posts on the thread concerned it is hard to comment further than that.

Noooooo, I think what she means is the way some people say things is the main problem. I honestly think some people have a terrible way with words and it's difficult not to take offence when you're feeling vulnerable already.

Does that make sense? It is late ;o)