A Dog's and Cat's diary ..........

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:


7:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

12:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

7:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY -- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors, by weaving around their feet while they were walking, almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs next time. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile ones, I again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Note-to-self: I think I'll try pooing under their bed, too. Wonder how long it'll take them to find it?

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergeez." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He must obviously be a bloody half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, appears to have become an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is preserved. But I can wait; it's only a matter of time . . .

:smt003

:smt005 :smt003 :smt044 :smt043

Good one :smt043

This is the reason we dont have a cat(that and Abby would eat it)

Rofl

Sorry but I doubt very much this would be Oliver's diary. He's way to lazy

lol

seems about right to me