Nothing turns out the way you plan does it?

Well, we bought a small work-in-progress property over here 5 years ago. I had thought what with the cheap flights etc. that I would be able to visit my children often and they would come to us for lovely holidays in the sun. How wrong can you be? It's turned out to be a nightmare in some ways. Firstly I now have 3 grandchildren and due to the recession and our circs. money is very tight. We don't need a lot of money over here and my OH goes back to UK to drive every few weeks so we keep going okay but of course I can't afford to fly back very often. My youngest daughter is so upset about this, she says she needs her Mum and her 2 boys need a nanna - I haven't seen her for nearly a year now although of course she sees her Dad a lot when he is over there. I have 2 GSDs which are a bit of a fly in the ointment - I wouldn't want to live out here in the campo on my own without their company but of course they prevent me going back with my OH. They aren't good in kennels and anyway couldn't afford to put them there.
Most of the time I am happy over here although I do get a bit lonely sometimes when OH is away so much. I had thought my kids were settled, 2 of them are in their middle thirties and my youngest is in her late 20s so didn't feel obliged to stay over there. I am beginning to wonder whether we did the right thing though, they all seem to have major problems in their lives although I doubt I could do much to help them but at least I would be there for them to see and talk to. My OH is happy over here and wouldn't want to go back. If we did I would have to get a job but at least we would have decent money again.
I love the way of life over here, lovely climate and ease of living and we live in a beautiful area but I miss the family and feel so downhearted after yet another session of sobbing and texts from my daughter....
I know my problems are nothing compared to some people who have REAL problems to worry about so forgive me if I've been a bit self indulgent dumping all this on here..... I
suppose I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself.......

I really do feel for you as I know what you mean about the dogs being a fly in the ointment.
On a smaller scale than with you, but if my family want or need me to be over theirs more than 4 hours I won't because of the dogs and it causes lots of arguements and bad feeling, in fact had a massive falling out with my son last week over it, we are ok now though.
Could you get someone to stay in your house in return for thier food and keep, they look after your dogs, so you can go back with your husband. Do you have any friends out there or here that would like a free holiday? again they could have thier free holiday in return for looking after your dogs.
Apart from that I can't really suggest anything, but i do hope you manage to find a resolution.

So sorry to hear your plight. Would it be possible for someone to stay at yours for say a holiday minding the dogs. Free board sounds a tempting opportunatey for someone you know I'd of thought, almost like an exchange for a week or so
It must be hard being so far away, but to be honest I am in the same country and my eldest had major problems but all I could do then was be on the end of the phone for him, if you get involved your interfereing too and to be honest being so near I had to watch how much involvment I undertook at the time of his problems otherwise it would of been my fault.


Unfortunately even as a Mother in my experience you can not win, they break your arms when little and your heart when they grow up Hope you can get to visit

Your life, your choice. If your kids wanted to emigrate I don't suppose they would hesitate because you were not going!

Can they not visit you?

It is emotional blackmail and SO unfair on you.

rune

Thanks for the replies am feeling a bit better this morning, although now it seems my son is going to be evicted for breaching his tenancy agreement (he kept his little cat there whilst trying to rehome her). Not sure this is the whole story to be honest but they tell you what they think you should hear
I suppose in the cold light of day, now that my daughter has stopped sobbing and sending texts I must be honest with myself and say that although I miss them, I don't miss them enough to go back. We talk on skype sometimes twice a day and on the whole, maybe it's awful to say this, but that is enough for me usually. I would like to see more of the grandchildren and I would like to be able to help now and then but I don't want my whole life revolving around my children and their children. Is that selfish? They haven't been over this year due to lack of money - they are struggling.

Their lives are so complicated and chaotic that it wears me
out just hearing about it all - it's no wonder I find great
solace in my dogs!

Hi Gill, I read your post with some sympathy as I too have found myself a long way from what I used to call 'home' my wife loves it here and so do I - most of the time- and luckily we don't have family to consider.

I know of at least three single women who have got themselves a little camper van and go back and forth from Southern France / Spain to UK regularly, one takes her dog and she is well into her sixties, I have recently got one as well and I wish I had got it years ago. I love the fact that I can just get up and go without all the hassle of booking air fares and hire cars and the full body searches and the inevitable delays and crap food and all the other 'airline' horrors

Did you know you can bring your dogs into UK now with the 'Pet Passport' scheme, you don't have to put them into quarantine if they are from an EU country and you have all the right paperwork. It's a bit beurocratic (Sp?) but not expensive.

Losos - thanks for the information - I have replied to your private message.
Yes, a camper would be the ideal thing - the dogs have already got their passports and Ailsa at least has been back and forth a couple of times on the ferry. When I go back at the end of September (for 3 weeks) they will be coming with us. Finances of course are the problem but we are actively on the look out for a decent a/c one. As you say this would solve a lot of the problems.
Anyone got a camper they want to sell????????????????
at a reasonable cost. Might just put myself into a bit more debit for the sake of harmony...............