Opinions please (Men's point of view also appreciated)

Hi all

I would like your opinions on something, I will try to keep it short!!

Mia's dad and I first split up when Mia was 8 months old, 6 years later we are now really good friends, we stopped being "intimate" about 2 years ago as i thought it was best all round if we were not going to get back together.

He comes round almost every day and we just "hang out" he also still has keys to my house and still lets himself in, now, he has recently met someone so, i thought to save any problems, i would suggest we spend less time together and start acting like we are not together ie: he gives me back my keys and we only see each other when it involves Mia, (i would describe us as being in a sexless marriage) as i'm sure his new girlfriend would not appreciate the time he spends with me. Plus i do not want to be left high and dry when he or she decides he shouldnt be spending all this time with his ex!

He is not having any of it!!!! He's not the best talker in the world so its very hard to bring the subject up without causing a row but i do not understand that if he has moved on and is with someone else now, why he is unwilling to let me go completely.

I wondered what other peoples take on this is, a few friends have said its because he still loves me but i really dont think he wants us to get back together, so why wont he let me go?

Two things strike me as possibilities... either he isn't over you and the new girlfriend is a late rebound thing either because he's in denial or because he wants you to be jealous

OR

He sees you as his best friend, and if his best friend was a bloke he wouldn't be forfeiting time with them for a new girlfriend so he's not going to forfeit time with you - his best mate because there's a girl on the scene.

I don't know him so don't know which one is more likely than the other.

The jealousy thing could be a possiblity as since he has met this girl, on 2 separate occasions he has sent me a text msg "by mistake" which were meant for her.

Once i can accept but to do it twice???? Surely you would be extra careful not to send a text meant for your girlfriend to your ex??? especially if you already did it once.

The best mate thing is possible too but i just dont see how a relationship would work without him giving me up, what woman would believe there is nothing going on? I wouldnt.

Men are so confusing, at least a woman would tell you how she feels, with him i have no idea and i am unable to move on as he is stopping me.

Could it be that he just doesn't want anyone else to "have" you? Even if he doesn't want you? Some guys can be unreasonably possessive.
You need to put your foot down, honey

x0x

Very possible, i have tried having it out with him and we had a huge row but imagine if i was to meet someone and invite him round, i am either going to have to tell him i have company or hope he doesnt turn up and walk in on us.

I dont see why i should have to report to him what i am doing, thats not fair!!

You're absolutely right - it's totally unfair.

You have a daughter together and there it ends....... there is no relationship any more, therefore he has no right to question what you do or who you see any more than you do him.

It's time he came back to earth and moved on........

x0x

I dont want to lose his friendship, he's my best mate but i dont see how either of us can move on like this

If i thought there was a chance we could make it work i would try but we've been there and it didnt as the trust is gone and i dont think we will ever get that back.

Its been 6 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Could you perhaps write him a letter? At least that way he can't shout back at you until he's got your full story and he may then understand why at the very least you want your key back?

It also means you can make a point of the fact that you still see him as your best mate but it's time you both moved on and now that he has a new girlfriend that's the first step.

that's a pickle isn't it?

If the relationship is over, I'd be asking for the keys back anyway. What if you wanted a boyfriend round? Or a girly party? It would be off if he walked in.

Maybe you will just have to stop thinking on what he wants from you - and decide what you want for you and Mia.
Sorry I'm not more help. xx

I have given him all the reasons but he says i'm being stupid, i asked him what will happen if his new relationship gets serious and she doesnt want him seeing me and all he would say is "i will cross that bridge when and if it happens"

So i could be dumped on again at any time and i am trying to save myself more heartache but he just doesnt see it.

I know if i was the girlfriend i wouldnt be happy about it at all!!

So neither of us ever have a new relationship?????

I still love him with all my heart but i know i dont want him back so i thought a clean break would be the answer.