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Location: Coventry
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 966
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26-06-2005, 09:09 AM
Bees. I hate bees!
This is a post from my livejournal from about a year or so ago. It is the one which A) describes my life (ask Mel...I *am* the Oh Gods of funny accidents) and B) seems to amuse people. I know not why. I didn't find it funny.....This will probably go down as one of the least pleasant days of my life, alongside the unfortunate incident of the haggis, the wet rubber firehose and the Swing section of the Dagenham Girl Pipers(of which, absolutely no more later...)
I was waiting to set off to meet a friend at Crick, and had just started to pack up from work, when I was suddenly caught in that stage of really needing the loo.
There is no pretty way to put this, so here goes.....After completing the paperwork, I hoisted my underwear and jeans. Suddenly I felt as if someone had fired a defibrilator in the immediate vicinity of my scrotum. A hasty check revealed a honey bee had crawled into my scivvies whilst I was otherwise engaged, and was demonstrating in typical bee fashion its angst at being confined in close company with my crotch...
The pain was....incredible. I was physically sick...fortunately I was in the right place...I extracted the sting..no small feat, considering both eyeballs were crossed, and tears were flowing like a small river. I could not draw breath for some considerable period, and for a brief instant I was of the opinion I was going to expire, to be found at some indeterminite time, naked bum in the air, and a scrotum the size of a medium hot-air balloon.
Fortunately the pain eased to a level that was, if not comfortable, then at least bearable, and I *let it all hang out* in the hand basin under a cold tap, until I was able to get both eyes agreeing as to which direction they were going to look. In the mirror I could see that I resembled the love-child of Peter Lorre and Marty Feldman, with a side order of sweaty .
The chat site I frequent were very helpful. I even got toppiced! I do believe one regular member actually wet himself laughing. Considering the pain level even now is quite considerable, I may have to introduce him to the concept of apian scrotum wrestling.........
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Location: Cornwall
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,786
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02-07-2005, 09:11 AM
Its not that I dont feel sorry for you, I am terrified of bees and wasps (sad I know
) Think its just they way you tell it, so funny! :smt043 :sm :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043
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Location: Hawaii
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,316
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02-07-2005, 12:37 PM
I'm sorry but that was just sooooo funny. I'm crying here and my sides are killing me!! LOL
Happy you recovered well enough to look back at it with humour.
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