Just read one of your other posts and in it you say that your partner is very much an alpha male etc so you don't feel Bailey will have issues with his daughter, it also says that she has previously snapped when surrounded by teenagers.

I know you have been asking around about the type of dog you should have etc, but it would be very advisable for you to also research positive modern training techniques - wether you keep Bailey or not.

Having a postivie relationship with any dog is about mutual respect, enjoyment, rewards, giving clear signals and being the leader of a happy team not about being Alpha or dominating. Dominating physically and mentally brings a whole hoard of new issues e.g. the dog may well test the boundaries with those they see as weaker e.g a child adn it isn't as such an enjoyable relationship for the dog as a more positive approach.

I know you have a lot on your hands now, but it really is essential that you look into positive training methods and dog ownership before you add another dog to this equation, decide to keep Bailey or consider another dog in the future.

This link takes you to an excellent artical about the macho myth and the more modern way of thinking about yours and your dogs relationship.

http://www.clickersolutions.com/articles/2001/macho.htm

www.apdt.co.uk and www.apbc.org.uk will have lists of recommended books.

I've just read your this story - poor you and OH and poor Bailey! I just wanted to tell you about a collar we recently got for our dog who suffers terribly with loud noises, guns, fireworks etc. I got it off the website below and the first time we used it I couldn't believe how quickly Jonah calmed down - went quiet and sleepy and happy to just lie on the sofa with us - but not zonked out like pills make him. It took approx. 1 week from ordering to delivery but it is so worth it! I'd lend you ours if you lived close - we're in Kent. Best wishes and good luck to you all.

Jan


http://www.calmingcollars.com/

My advice and there has been some great advice here already... Is

DONT PANIC!

Of course she is stressed and will take some time to settle and of course you feel overwhelmed by her problems not to mention the damage of course...

It will get better. It took me more than 6 months to achieve a good relationship with poor Jackjack who had come from a very similar situation... Kennels to a home where he stressed and didn't settle and then back to kennels.

He wouldn't let me touch him and wouldn't take treats either... I needed to make a bond, so I took some time off work and stopped feeding him... No food except from my hand. I got him a crate, put a towel over it for security (In hindsight I wish I'd had a soft crate option then. I ought a bean bag and sat next to the crate all day. On the floor so I was less threatening. I wouldn't look directly at him but I kept up a steady stream of conversation with him, when I ran out of things to say I would read out loud, or narrate the television. All the time i had his food nearby and if he made a move towards me I would give him a bit of food... He ate practically nothing for three days, then began to come and sit next to me nibbling out of my hands. By day five he started to put a paw on me to tell me he wanted some food and on day 6 or so he climbed into my lap and ate the food. then stayed there for a few seconds... It was the greatest most amazing experience! I have never felt so honoured!

Obviously he was much worse than it sounds that Bailey is and my light at the end of the tunnel for you is that he got better! He got much better and after just a week I was able to leave him without him going mad.

He did see the crate as his 'safe zone' and gradually had no problem with being left in it. The crate was bigger than he needed so he had a bit of spare room and I left him things to destroy to vent his frustrations on... A cardboard box filled with newspaper and treats was a favourite (and cheapest). After some more time the crate became the room and then the room became the house.

We all have faced problems with our dogs and I would take a bet that there is not one of us here that hasn't had at least one experience where we sat back and thought I have made a terrible decision or I am a terrible owner, or just felt overwhelmed. But you get over it, it's all part of the whole doggy thing...

You have great times and fun times and you have the times when out of the blue they eat your Playstation, or you're sitting up all night over a mystery illness that turns out to be 2 cotton reels that you had left out from sewing, or you gave the puppy toys given by a kind neighbour who recently lost their dog and now your watching them breathe convinced you have given the fragile little mite Parvo, cos you just watched a vets program and watched a puppy that looked just like yours die! (all my experiences obviously).

Give it time.

Don't give up. It's never completely smooth. It's not always even completely fun. But it will be completely worth it and one day you will look back at this thread and laugh.

I also live in a rented house and also have a door that bears the scars of my dogs Pharaoh managed to shut himself in the bathroom while I was out one day and ripped the door and door frame to pieces, not to mention the front door which i know I will have to replace. I have written off any chance of ever seeing my deposit again. But you know what... Some people pay a fortune for their pedigree puppy and thousands on coats and baskets... me I bought them a front door and a bathroom door and probably the carpets!

sorry a long post. But I remembered Jackjack and it all came flooding back. The frustration the tears and then the tremendous joy... I wouldn't have given up a moment. (though there were a few I would gladly have given up at the time and there were times I contacted rescues and nearly gave up on the whole thing... Glad I didn't though)

(hmmm sometimes I think when a post takes that much time to get right and is that long the 'post quick reply' button seems wrong... there needs to be a 'post long rambling reply' button)

That brought tears to my eyes!

Great post Magpye.

You are completly right but it seems the thread starter has no intention of taking time to do this like you did.
It seems she thought she could have a "ready made" dog and go off to work the next day.

Sorry This is not a personal attack and I apologise.

Basically I have seen a lot of rescue/disturbed dogs and it upsets me greatly. Especially when they get passed around so much.
As others have said you seem to know that you made a mistake and I hope you find her the best home possible soon.

Awesome post Magpye, truly inspiring.

LOL and yes i know exactly what you mean about the long and rambly post button.

Honeysmummy - maybe a tad bit harsh. At least the OP has admitted she was overly naive about going into this and has asked us for help. Truly bad bet owners never even do that.

It's early days and first night panics. She's asked for help. They're looking into the options...

Lets hope things settle down for poor Bailey.

Dogs don't understand and I can remember how often I just sat next to Jackjack in tears when I first got him because I couldn't just explain to him that he was safe now and no one was going to ever hurt him again! How many time we took three steps forward and two straight back. How my heart would just break when I would reach over him and he would flinch or wet himself. Or I walked in too fast and he would scrabble back into his crate and refuse to come out for dinner!

Minimise the damage to the house with a crate or limit it to one room. Be prepared to pick up some repair bills. Even the best mannered dog will be stressed in a new place.

As a temporary solution look into pet sitting services. Not for her whole life with you, but just in this first few sensitive weeks. Or even a tie out running line and kennel. Or an outside run, bring her back into the house gradually and in her own time...

It'll cost a bit of money and a lot of patience. But she will be all the more special for it eventually, because you will be able to look at your beautiful girl and remember what a broken little girl she was at first.

Hi, i've just caught up with all this. I do feel so sorry for all of you.

Whats done is done and we need to try and help bailey out.

I've got 2 dogs that were re-homed. My recent addition paced everywhere, she didn't know what to do with herself. Within a few days she was so much better.

My other, sat in a corner for almost a month only moving for food/water and wallks. I did not see him wagg his tail once in about 6 weeks or so.

It is such a shock for a lot of them. It just takes time and patients i am afraid, if it was me i would let him follow me all round the house. If you need the loo let him come if he wants to. Thats what i did. Bianca was my permanent shadow for about a month love her.

I did leave her at night downstairs, and she did chew a few things, remote and shoes etc. but it stopped after a very short time. But she used to sleep at the bottom of the stairs behind a stair gate and she seemed ok with this as she new where we were.

If there is anything i can help with please pm me, i know we live in the same area. x