Hope you have a nice day with Lynn today, and just a wee thought maybe Lynn could phone the surgery for you and get you an appointment as she can explain things just as she has read them on here and of course what you may tell her, My OH frequently had to make appts for me when I was incapable of talking as I was sobbing like a child

It is hard but these professionals are there to help you and the 1st step is always the worst but it is a step to a happier you Huge hugs x

ive had to break all ties with my daughters, and to be honest i feel so much better about it, i havnt got the constant whining phone calls. the he said she said. and since my grandson was put into care the hate from them.
and now because i didnt do as they wanted, me to kick charlie out and let her ,move into the 1 bedroom bungalow.ive been called all sorts now. got to the point where ive had to ask my solititor to send a letter saying if i get any more problems i will go to the police.
so what im saying that they have to let go and live their own lives.and allow u to live your life as you want to.
big hugs to u. xxxxx

Bev, I haven't read the entire thread, so appologize first off. Just wanted to say that my brother does this to my Mom and it makes me absolutely LIVID! So when I hear about you going through the same thing, it makes me angry too. I know that really doesn't help you much, that some chick in America is mad about your situation, but I am. Ha!

Anyway, I don't have any advice for you except to say, don't let them walk all over you. You shouldn't have to do without to look after two grown men who clearly don't have time for you. You raise children (I'm told) with some vain hope that when you need them, they will be there to take care of you. That is the way it should be!

Is your granddaughter there for you? Maybe she could talk to your sons on your behalf. Sounds like they should be brought down a peg!

Bev, I have hardly posted on this forum but have read this whole thread right through. I don't know about you but I can usually somehow cope with what ever life throws at me, like you and most of us do. I have two grown up children with children of their own, my son is great but my daughter is an absolute bitch. She never fails to hurt me and uses her children as blackmail against me. She lives close by and only ever contacts me for money or for babysitting. I have gone without (and still do) for her because she has the children. If she was on her own, I truly believe I would not bother with her any more after years of it. The last thing I want to hear from other people is how horrible she is to me. I love her but hate what she is. So ..... I will not criticise your sons to you, you are their Mum and you love them afterall. If there was a way in which they could become kinder to you I believe you would not need to see your doctor, take pills etc. There is nothing wrong with you is there? It is the way you are being treated that is upsetting you, that is very normal and justified. I do not know how to make that happen because I can't even do it for myself with my daughter.
Just another thing. When I stopped smoking last year I was so depressed I did go to the doctor, I was crying all day, not sleeping. Everything in my life was wrong or so I thought. He recommended counselling which I did not take up. The doctor told me that stopping smoking after many years can have a devasting affect on our mental health for the first few months, we are depriving ourselves of all the 'feel good' toxins the makers include in the cigarettes to keep us on them, not just the nicotine. You have done a month now at a difficult time too, so you have achieved a double whammy here! Well done Bev, I mean that! Your sons may well come around one day, be honest with them, don't give up. Take good care xx

Hi,

So sorry to hear how you are are feeling but after what your children have done I can understand.

I would definately go to see your GP about how low you are feeling.

As for your children, you have to be cruel to be kind. I would cut them off from all the things you do for them and the money you give them.

If you want to move house then move! I daren't say that they asked your permission when they moved out so why do you have to, so do what makes you feel good.

I agree with the writing of a letter. On the phone or in person voices can be raised, tempered flared, tears cried and things said that we shouldn't and others that we haven't. With a letter you can amend it until you definately have all your feeling down and then they can read it over and over again too and hopefully it will sink in.

I have always said that friends can be better than family and then again dogs can be better than friends as they take you for who you are, they do not judge and their love is unconditional.

Please keep us informed of what happens and please don't feel that you are alone as you aren't x

Really sorry to hear, nothing i can do to change things, but a virtual hug, i lost my mother in law almost two years ago, she died suddenly and we miss her every day, visiting, chatting and having her here! But my dad we never see, virtually never speak to him and yet i have spent years chasing him, trying to involve him in our family and for my brother and i it is like banging our heads on a wall, which is sad cos he is missing out on so much of our lives and our kids lives, so i would dearly love my dad to be involved, so to want to be and to feel used must be awful!
Kick them up the backsides and tell them how you feel, and whilst you dont expect a lot you expect better and will not be expecting them to ask for help if they will not even help you just a little!

How are you feeling Bev?

Have you managed to get an appointment, honey?

Let me know if I can help at all

x0x0x

I want to thank each and everyone of you so much for the kindness and support you have shown me. I also want to thank everyone for the lovely pm's you have sent me. If I havn't replied personally please forgive me but my head has been all over the place and muddled so I don't know who I managed to answer and who I didn't, but I did read them all and they mean't a lot. Thankyou.
As you know Lynn came to mine for the day and really helped me.
We sorted out a plan that I could try as I wasn't ready to speak to the doctor then. However that didn't quite work but I have now managed to see the doctor and we are starting to deal with my other health problems a little at a time and she asked if I was stressed and I broke down in tears and so she has given me some anti depressants which I have to start taking this weekend at night time as they give me some horrible side effects and hopefully those effects will wear off while I sleep.
I will get my first test results back early next week and I have to see the doctor again a week on monday.
Thankyou all again and please bear with me as I have days where I can talk for England, days where I don't want to talk at all (and I don't want people thinking I am being rude or ignoring them, its not intentional).
Bless you all. xx

Don't think you're being rude or ignoring anyone at all,is great that you and Lynn had a good day and she is helping. Can't know exactly what you're going through but think you're doing a brilliant job,giving up smoking as well! You're stronger than you think and hope things keep getting better for you x

Bev you have done so well in such a short time and I know how hard it has been for you to get to the Doctor, but you have been now and hopefully the recovery will quickly kick in and you will start to feel well again and able to cope with what life throws at you.

I have been where you are in the past and it is not a nice place to be and any support is such a help and I am glad to of been of some help. Plus I had a lovely day out with you and really enjoyed myself.