You're an absolute credit to the country, you really are. And so you should be proud of yourself and wanting better!

Sounds to me like you have a good work ethic and morals, which is a lot more than some these days! Sensible.

I'm the same regarding people who I went to school with - many of them got pregnant so young, don't work and generally don't do much with their lives. Not my idea of fun but there you go! And I certainly don't wish I was in their position either, though I wouldn't mind a council house right enough, but I won't be getting one!

Thankyou Ive worked very hard to get to where I am, and im now a respected dog walker with my own buisness that I adore - I have a waiting list for gods sake!! I would have never thought i could have all that in a million years but I have. Ive got a lovely home with my other half and we have our pets. And all without hand outs or benifits. OH has been on jobseekers once but they were so lame in sorting it out that he had ajob by the time the money came through lol.

I am proud of the fact that ive got this far without it - but then i see pictures of my peers and their little ones and how happy they are and I just feel like theres a huge hole

That's fantastic.

Try not to worry, you are still very young, it will probably happen eventually.

I think everyones different and you only need to know a few things first. Then only you can ultimately know whats right for YOU.

1) do you have your own home (I don't mean bought a home, just a secure place to live and be an independant family)
2) Can you trust your partner and do you want to have kids with HIM. (as opposed to just wanting to have kids, having a man to have them with and both 'doing what you do' - muddling along and well, first you meet, then you marry....you know what I mean? Do you see him neing the man you want to be the father of your kids or just your husband and you a mum...that sort of thing)
3) Is the business more important than kids? Is there anything stopping you from starting up once your kids are at school? and vice versa.


and then when your sure what you want, ask him what he wants....thats my humble opinion on it anyway

Good luck with things anyway

people can be rich and get child benefit too, but I know what you mean

Some teenagers have kids and then go on to work very hard in their career when their kids are 'up' and pay as much tax as you do.....only it will be when you are getting your child benefit that they are paying back.

Some people never have kids but still scam the system.

I don't think its fair to stereo type every young or lone parent out there. You simply dont know them. I'm sure people would say that bankers have worked before having a family and yet look how much they have taken out of our system, MP's and their expenses.....

I'm not saying that there isn't people out there willing to use the system, but its unfair to tar people with the same brush like that.

I'm not tarring ALL with the same brush, I'm well aware everyone is different, including myself - I'm tarring those who abuse the system - whoever they may be - with the same brush and they are out there, it is FACT, I don't care who they are, it is not right.

I can answer yes to the first 2 of those questions easily - this evening we spend a good 3 hours over dinner talking about kids and names and all things like that. Ive seen him with my friends twins and hes just in his element

Is my buisness more important than kids.... No. But its a reason not to have them at the moment. If i had to choose giving up the buisness tomorrow or not having kids then i would give it up in a heartbeat. But I have a very very close relationship with my clients and I have a duty to them and their dogs and I just dont feel like I can let them all down. I know how difficult it will be for them to find a decent dog walker round here and I dont want anyone else to have my boys

and would those clients put you before a loved one? would they put you before starting a family just because they get on well with you?

Would they work while they had kids simply so they could keep you in a job?

I doubt it somehow.

You may just find that a few years later those same clients are happy to go back to you as a dog walker.

Thing is there are ways and means and just because you take a couple of months off does not mean you can't go back to work, not if you keep people informed.

So basically, you could have kids now if you REALLY wanted and felt it was right. Sometimes something has to give and if it means taking a couple of months off work and using part time childcare to keep your business going then thats what you have to do, either that or you just accept that sometimes you cannot have it ALL.

well what does that have to do with this thread then?

How is benefit fraud got anything to do with the topic of this thread?

Actually dont even answer

thing is whenever you you decide to have kids, you will have the same dilema you have now, cos you will still have your job/business, whether you start a family now or in 5 years you will still have the same issue