I believe that they should know who is the boss in the household. And that they should have at least one person that they totally respect. Not be afraid of, but just generally respect them. ie following commands first time.

If this happens you dont usually need to enforce harsh rules like some people who cant control their dogs. In the end its all about the training and effort you put into your dog.

Like I said..everyone seems to have a different definition of Alpha..

I would never and have never do anything the showman Milan does..and I don't do dominance..but I am the boss..

Where have we gone?? to have tea and walk dogs..

i dont do the alpha bit nor do i think i'm a dog so i dont try to copy them.

i'm a leader not a boss.

i teach my dogs to respect each other and other species, as i respect them.

they know my voice and my actions as i know theirs.

they look to me for guidance (well, sometimes) in some situations as i do with them.

i'm also provider of all their needs.

i'm there for them.

they return all this in unconditional love and companionship.

thats why i love my dogs and dont boss them.

Is there a difference between guiding your dog and telling them what to do?

Is it about mutual respect? Them for us and us for them?

Just thinking out loud and trying to get my head round it all. Part of the problems we have have stemmed from stupid me thinking that the best way to raise Woody is to be seen of the "pack leader". I don't even know where this came from but this is what I thought I had to do.

I'm reading a great booklet about it all and it's a real eye opener.

Is it 'Dominance - Fact or Fiction?' by Barry Eaton?

I think the fact that the very people that first introduced the term 'Alpha' (and all the dominance theory attached to it) have admitted they were wrong speaks for itself.

No, it's "The Fast Track Dog Survival Kit - coping with adolescence and beyond" by Lyn Fleet & Helen Roberts. It's really good.

Okay..... I expect my dogs to listen to me when I ask them to do something, I expect them to have manners around me. I don't want to be jumped upon when I put food down, I don't want to be bitten when I give a treat, I don't want them to pee in my house.....etc etc etc
I also listen to them, they tell me when they need to go and pee, I treat them kindly, I feed and groom them and care for them. We have a mutual relationship...based on trust and respect.

I decide when we go out, I have to open the door if they need to go pee, I give food, so I guess I am in control of the relationship in many ways,some would say, but in all honesty I do wonder if they just allow me to be as it is in their best interests. I think I am just fulfilling my bit of the bargain.

I don't see myself as a leader...more a facilitator of domestic harmony!!!!!

In work I don't see myself as being in charge of the class...I see us working together with mutual respect and understanding, the children have expectations of me and vice versa in order for the classroom to work. It's the same at home.

In order for someone or something to respect you, you have to earn it. I don't think you earn respect by being 'dominant' (I hate that word, just making a point really) I think you earn respect by showing that you deserve it. With dogs, by consistency and kindness...not by being domineering and bossy. There has to be respect and understanding on both sides...not one side being all superior and bossy. Thats my take on it all anyway and so far it has worked for me and my dogs.

Who gave you that?????

They are my mates they are.......
I keep asking for commission but they are not very forthcoming....

LOL Ailsa...I think I do the same with my dogs but I see that as me being the boss..LIke I said,,its all about what the individual perceives as being alpha..