unfortunately havent got access to house but sounds good to me.....

Hmm..... my ex used to be a bit handy with his fists, and not being the strong person I am today I used to make him his dinner but always add an extra ingredient..... like spiders, or anything nasty really.
I got quiet satisfaction knowing what he was eating.

I hasten to add I was not the reason he died! Your Honour.

nearly made my first husband a dog meat pie........not brave enough though

Ok, a bit of background first, my friends ex hubby was a real b**t**d, used to beat her up, made her work all the hours she could so he could stay home and get drunk, because he didn't like work, you know the sort, so after he tried to strangle her one night she called the police and got him arrested and finally decided that enough was enough, she was allowed to stay in the council flat while things got sorted out, and he threatened her not to take anything when it came time for her to move. She took nearly everything and we had great pleasure in decorating the flat for him.

Bearing in mind he expected to move back into a pristine flat with everything still there

We left the curtains hanging by 2 hooks and sewed rotten fish into the lining, put red dye and salt in the drum of the washing machine, which was a hire one in his name, took all the plant pots, just leaving the plants, put up the christmas decorations (it was July) opened a tin of processed peas and left it upside down in the cupboard, so it would spew out all over him when he lifted it, superglued all his ornaments upside down. In the bathroom we took the bath and basin plugs, and put cling film over the loo seat, and stuck a cutting from a mag on the cistern which said 'mind your pees and poo's' and took all the shelving, we put itching powder in the duvet, threw strong coffee over the walls so it stained, left a load of empty fag packets around all bar one that had just one in it, and that one had 3 of those things in it that hissd and banged when lit, put a stink bomb behind the airing cupboard door and left it open, the first thing he would have done is shut that door as he hated it being left open, we shut and locked all the windows and took the keys with us, as difficult as it was for her she didn't do any housework for about 3 weeks so it was in a real state, accidently knocked a very full ashtray all over the living room floor, used up all the gas and electric on the pre pay meters including the emergency credit and took all the light bulbs, there must be loads more, but you get the picture, I know some of it may seem very trivial, but a lot of it was playing on his pet hates and would have really annoyed him enormously.

When it came to his time to get back in the flat, we were sat in the neighbours flat below, and could here him shouting and getting more and more angry to the point of boiling, a few minutes later the police turned up, they were only in the flat about a minute, and they had to come out to talk on their walky talky things, so obviously the stink bomb had gone off and not being able to open the windows the smell must have been awful , but as we hadn't done any damage there was nothing they could do.

My friends solicitor got a letter from his solicitor, with a list of every thing we had done, he wanted his things back and Jean charged with something for everything else we'd done, nearly 10 years later he's still waiting and there were no charges as it's not illegal to live like that , but what did make us laught 3 days later he went back into the solicitors to add the red dye in the washing machine to his list of complaints.

I must say it was very theraputic, and a great way of getting revenge on that pathetic exuse for a human being

couldnt poss comment for legal reasons

snigger snigger you pair could start your own show,,, kinda like that changing rooms programe,, but yours could be changing room for B*s***ds

Hehe, good idea

It was so funny when we had to go to her solictor about it, both he and his secretary were laughing, and as we entered his office, he said 'please don't tell me you didn't do any of this' and he even asked, inbetween giggles where we got the stink bomb from

love it........wish i could do only half of this

know at least one b*s***d that needs this doing at the moment

sue

Ummmmm, Christine, you naughty girl, but I can just imagine the two of you in there wetting yourselves laughing as you each thought up yet another devilish antic, omg that is just priceless! The red dye, well......