I'm sorry that Oscar is being bullied. I understand how you are feeling and think you've been fair-minded to try to see things from the perspective of the bully. Still, at the end of the day, it is Oscar who is your child and Oscar who you wish to not have to go through this and to protect. I dread the thought of my daughter being bullied now she has started school and I hope the school get back to you and take things seriously enough to deal with properly.

This is a brilliant post. Laura it is understandable that you want to protect Oscar, and quite rightly too. My son was bullied in the infants school too, but it was resolved by me bugging the head on a daily basis until she sorted it out. Expelling the other boy just moves the problem on and creates even more victims. It could be that his Grandmother is completely out of her depth and needs some practical support/parenting classes. This problem could be turned into something positive for Oscar and the other boy. It would also teach Oscar that being persistent, firm and fair is the best way to resolve a problem.

Speaking as someone who works with children in a school like the child that is bullying your son, I would be interested to find out what behaviour management plans they have in place for this lad. If he is behaving the way that he is then I am pretty much certain that there will be measures in place to deal with him that you wont be party to. Exclusion is something that is only done in very rare exceptional circumstances now and certainly not just for bullying.

I wanted to pick up on some of the suggestions that you gave to the school, although I know you would prefer the child in question to enter and leave the school by a different entrance, they wouldnt want to single any child out in that way, unless the child uses mobility equipment for example that would only fit in once entrance, then all the children should be the same.

I cant see the school going for the dogs idea, when you almost force two children into the same space/area to 'spend some time together' its not a natural thing and not a lot will actually be achieved by it, the same as if the child in question 'behaves himself' for a half term (7weeks??!) you will invite him round to play football. If my mum had done that for me when I was at school I would have been terrified, you dont need to throw them together and it would be unreasonable to expect good behaviour from a 6 year old for that amount of time. Some of the children I work with get rewards for appropriate behaviour lesson by lesson. A 6 year old has the attention span of roughly 6 minutes, thats how long you have to work with at first.

Please go back to the school and ask (in writing if needed) exactly what steps are going to be put in place to ensure your sons day at school is compromised by this child.

Ps the children I work with are aged 6-7yrs.

This is a really constructive post. When I had problems with my son being bullied I was on the Head's case constantly about it. Eventually I was told that the boy concerned had to stay with a teacher whenever he wasn't in class. So before school, in the playground and dining room he had one to one supervision until he could show the staff he could be trusted. I expect they relaxed this fairly soon as it was probably a pain in the a$$ to organise. But my son never came home with scratches, bumps and bruises again and the boy concerned remained in his class until they both left the school.

The ideas put forward were off the top of my head at the time and I hadn't spent time thinking about them. As my dogs have already been in school and knowing how the bully in question is around dogs, I was a viable option.

Also, he has already been forced to enter and leaver from a different exit/entrance this term - the first full week. Because of his beahviour this week (I found out this afternoon when picking up Oscar), the bully with now enter and leave from that same different entrance (as it's not only Oscar he's hurt over the past few days) and he'll also be kept in during break and lunch times. He will have no playground time with other children at all. he will also have to sit out of PE/games and contact activities, including football after school on Wednesday.

Furthermore, everythign involving Oscar would only happen if Oscar agreed. He has not bene put under any pressure to do anythign he doesn't want to and until recently, when I would ask him about how he felt he woudl tell me that if this boy would be nice to him, then he would still want to be friends with him. Oscar is a very forgiving little boy - maybe to a fault. But enough is enough.

Certainly nobody is forcing the 2 of them together. They are both asked (as in when they do roughly 10 mins work together with a supervising member of staff) if they want to. If either one says no, it doesn't happen.

Poor child!!!! If I was his mother I would be pulling him out if that school so fast!! Singling him out is not acceptable IMO. I have worked with some seriously nasty children and singling them out makes them worse, more need for attention etc, class clown to cover their embarrasment!!

Do u have third party/liability insurance for your dogs?? To be taking them into school?

I wouldn't be happy at all if this was my child,he is entitled to do PE/games it is part of the national curriculum,it can also be a release for some of them to get rid of built up anger and frustrations.

Totally agree,singling a child out does nothing,if anything it can seriously damage there self confidence if nothing else.I would image this childs confidence is low anyway considering what he's been through.
To be honest from what I have read I don't think much of the school or it's staff!
They are not addressing this childs needs,the triggers for the poor unacceptable behaviour,instead they are punishing him further.

I have to say (and I've had some very challenging behaviour children) if that was one of my foster children I'd be complaining that he couldn't do PE, football and contact activities.
If this is the case then that to me is saying he is a danger to others, and they can not say/judge that unless they have done proper assesments by professionals.
At my FS school they would not impose these penalities they have TA's in place to help with behaviour (this being an ordinary secondary school) they are aware of our FS behaviour issues and work with him doing alot of hands on stuff and outdoor activities by doing this his relationships with peers has come on two fold.

I think its a very poor school to be honest, I think I would be looking at thier policy's as I think they handle things quite bad

Im not sure I understand the first part, so the child in question is now leaving and entering the school from a different entrance/exit??

So who has told you that he is being kept in at lunch and playtimes and no playground time with other children at all? A child cannot be withdrawn from lesson time or pe without either having 1-2-1 work in place, or they have got an injury as its a statutory requirement of the National Curriculum.

I think there is definately more going on than first meets the eye tbh.

I think that you need to put all your concerns in writing from now on, and get the Head to tell you face to face.

I think thats disgusting, poor child, that isolation treatment is not going to help him.

Not to mention the school that thinks that the best way to deal with a troubled child, he is 6 yrs old for goodness sake, this is boardering in child crualty/abuse