Just wanted to send you some *hugs*.
I'm sure things will work out.

Do you have an appointment for the gyneacologist? If not, phone up and chase it, you'll be surprised what you can do with a nice phonecall!
If you do, then phone up and try and bring it forward. Say you are getting [more] worried.

We don't think this is a cry for attention........like me, you have to let off steam somewhere, and everyone on here is always willing to listen, and to help.

There is nothing I can add Sheree, only that I am thinking of you and I hope it all works out very soon xx

Tbh Sheree I don't think things will change, you are what you are and location etc won't make the slightest difference to him. It might make you feel more secure because the house will be as much yours as his but that's about it. I make the decisions in this house and tbh if my OH owned it outright I would probably still be the decision maker, because that's who I am. Least I'm not grumpy and dictatorial with it Clive doesn't seem very accommadating to me, it might be his house etc. but he wants you there. He realised that soon enough when you left before, so he has to start making a few concessions. Better to know now rather than wait till you buy somewhere else and then discover with the stress of moving etc. he just finds something else to whinge about.
I think you need to stake a claim, he has to give you more.

Thanks Jackie...I will definately be suggesting the separate rooms thing..he prefers the other room anyway whereas I like the one we're in.

I am a great believer in fate and I think that is why his house hasn't sold yet...we need to sort out a few things before we invest in a future together. I won't do anything daft, I have told him that if he decides not to sell then I will probably buy one of those cheap little holiday homes in Jaywick...that way I have a property of my own if things do go pear-shaped...it would be a huge wrench to do it but I will if I have to, just don't know how I will fund things once the property is bought, but I'll have to sort something out if that happens.

If we do move and buy something together it will be in joint names, Leon will have the run of the place and, if it is big enough I will be able to have other dogs if I want to. We have agreed to this and, although I couldn't do it at the moment as I still feel too raw, he has agreed that I can have dogs again if we have the room...which I will obviously make sure we do before I agree to buy the house

I always appreciate everyones point of view Jackie and I know that you only have my wellbeing at heart so I never, ever take offence at what you say..its what being a friend is all about

Clive does have his problems too..apart from his depression, his business worries and the fact that his ex-wife cheated on him, he is quick tempered and doesn't think before he speaks. I'm not backtracking on what has happened..he has no right to make me feel so bad about myself but underneath he is a good man, a generous man, I just need to work out how to get that side of him to take over more than the one I have been seeing lately

Oh Sheree so sorry to hear what you're going through. I had pm'd you before I read this, I'll send you another as I'm in hospital myself for an op tomorrow for very much the same reasons as you, but if I can help at all?

Thanks Tracy xxx

I don't think he will change as a person, sorry I didn't make that very clear, but certainly my postion will be as an equal rather than a lodger, and I won't feel that I have to tread on eggshells as I do when he is in one of his moods, it will be my house too and he can just get on with it. I just hope that if we move his moods will improve because he hasn't got the landlord to moan about, the travelling to moan about, etc., but who knows? Maybe I am just clutching at straws and hoping that life will be good everyday rather than just some days but I don't feel that I want him out of my life, even though he makes things very difficult for me at times, I suppose I'd rather be with him and have bad days than not be with him at all See how mixed up I am..I love the bones of him and I know that he would be devastated if he knew the extent of how he has made me feel...I just need to get him to see it somehow

Thanks so much, they have given me a date of 7th August ,(I seem to recall), over the phone but I have to wait for the official notification from the hospital. I don't know if they will be able to do anything other than a hysterectomy, to be honest, the only other thing that worked was the hormone treatment but they think that could be the cause of my problems now

Thanks again xxx

Thanks Jenny

I think you're right..he is dictatorial and when I challenge him about it he says that I'm hormonal and arguementative, but then he wil cuddle me or wink and smile and say he's just teasing...no wonder I don't know if I'm coming or going..but at least I feel a lot stronger chatting to you all about it.

Oh Sheree, not much help but i'm sorry you are having such a bad time of it, thinking of you. If you decide to escape around the north east give me a shout! x

Hi Sheree I agree with Becky, think long and hard before giving up your ticket to independence if you are not 100% sure of your relationship.

I don't think 'none dog people' can appreciate just how much we love our dogs. I could not give up mine for another human....

Big hugs xx

Hi Sheree

I just want to say, sorry its tough at the moment.

Basically I think others are right in their advice to exercise a bit of caution. Your posts since you met Clive have been very up and down, one minute leaving him, the next very rosy. It seems that you are a positive person who tries to see the good in everything. This is good....but it also appears to me that you focus too much on the good points and ostrich a little on the bad ones, perhaps hoping it will all go away. My experience tells me sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. Snoring is very annoying but is it the real crux of your issues?

I like me and Mini you couldn't be happy without your dogs around you, you will always resent him/be angry at yourself for that decision.

You are vulnerable because of your health (believe me when I say I understand that one totally) and need friends to lean on when its tough. That is normal and necessary.

I would say don't put all your eggs in one basket ...whether that be Clive himself, or his house until you are sure. Your posts are full of doubt, so I would also suggest building your network of friends too, and not relying just on Clive. Building a network of friends can take time, and virtual ones can help, but don't let Dogsey substitute (too much LOL) for real contact!

Sometimes counselling can help. You have been through alot and it all builds up, no matter how much you want to bounce back. An objective person can help you sort through your priorities and what you want for you.

Good luck Sheree.

There are a lot of good posts already with good advice.

I think a few days away would give you a chance to clear your head hun.

Good luck x