i know just how you feel ,i felt the same ,when we had bessey put ,to sleep .i sat up all night crying ,then i cried for about a month off and on ,in fact i can still cry ,on the odd days now . i felt the same as you ,i felt like i had betrayed her ,let her down , like i had killed her my self in some way , if i look at a photo ,of just befor we lost her ,it takes me back ,like its yesterday . you will feel better in time ,im sure she is watching over you ,you did the right think ,with out a doubt .i hope you feel better soon ,big hug x

Thanks again everyone, I really do truly appreciate all of this. I am so sad for those of you are just beginning this journey, it is horrid, and I feel so much for you. I THINK I am turning the corner. I have done a lot of research on the internet into the illlnesss that Frump had. What helped me was reading the his chronic uveitis (he was on steroid eyedrops for months) was probably symptomatic of cancer elsewhere in him, which his other symptoms seemed to point to. One vet had said she was 90 per cent certain he had liver cancer. This made me realise that in actual fact, I would have betrayed him far more if I had let him suffer for any longer, he may have died alone and scared while i was at work, he may have been terrified and in pain. He didnt have to go through any of that, and I konw which way I would have preferred for him - scared, alone and in pain, or peacefully, surrounded by his family who loved him. It may have just been days between two scenarios, I think it would hve been. He was showing all the symptoms of my long ago dog, Smudge, who had the brain tumour, and I think was days away from becoming how she did, which was like your dog LUke, scared, dangerous and aggressive, not knowing what she was doing. My daughter had earlier said the Frump was reminding her of Smudge. I would have hated that for him. What I really really wanted, I couldnt hve, which was I wanted the vet to cure him, to make him young, daft, and healthy again. Like all of us, I wanted to see my dog give me a soppy grin and run off and play before bounding back and jumping up for a cuddle. One day he will, at Rainbow Bridge. God bless all of you, to those of you who have just lost your lovely dogs, I am so sorry, please know you DID do the right, kind thing for your dog, and they DO understand. AS someone once said to me when I was deciding over Smudge "Just how ill do you want your dog to get?" Food for thought. I still miss Frump, I will always miss him, and wish him here with me, but I feel I am getting stronger. It DOES take time, it DOES hurt, but to any of you who had your dog PTS because they were incurably ill, please remember you are doing this FOR your dog, and they know that. I have actually now volunteered for training as a pet bereavement counseller with the Blue Cross, I just hope I can give back a little of what you all on Dogsey have given me. You have no idea guys how much difference you have made. Thankyou

So glad you are turning the corner hun. I know, as most on here know too, how all those dark thoughts keep you from moving on. I had all the same thoughts, my fault, murderer, guilt anger, not at my dog, but at his illness, anger at the vet because he could do no more for him. Angry at life. Jealous of other people with their dogs. You name it I felt it.
We lost Jake in May last year and it still hurts even now I have my two BC rescues.
Have you thought about another dog?
Personally it was the best thing that I could have done. It is no disrepect to your other dog in fact it is the opposite.
Good luck and ((((hugs))))
Elaine x