Oh Helena...have just caught up with this thread........

Memories of your wonderful boy will be with you always.
Thinking of you x

Sorry Helena. Only just caught up.

So, So, Sorry. I will light my candle for him tonight.

Rest In Peace Georgie.

Hugs to you all x x x

Thanks for all the kind, new messages and the lovely poem which of course, set me all off again!

Had a lovely, liesurely walk with Zena, she was quite normal, but we're used to being out alone nowadays. Dave said she raced out into the bootroom this morning at 5 am expecting to see him lying there, and when he wasn't she went out the back searching, so, so sad She greeted me with her normal enthusiasm, wiggling her backside, slipper in her gob, so I'm sure she was glad to see that I'm still around, even if her best friend has now gone.

Although I have 2 friends coming round for lunch today, I've told them that things must remain normal around here for Zena's benefit, so I am going to leave them to it when they arrive, they can chat and have coffee, whilst I take Zena out again for a ball play on the green, as that is normal for us, I really want life to stay normal in the hope that she gets through this easily. I've also told them not to mention the G word, not only for myself, but for Zena.

Poor Dave was hit hard this morning, because he is the one who is first to see the old boy when he lets Zena out at 5, so it hit him rather hard

I know Georgie didn't seem to do a lot about the place, he sure did have a great "presence" here, because this house seems very empty and strange without the big, fat lump lying about, especially in the doorway to my bootroom which was his favourite spot, I can't believe how easily I can get in and out there now, and I remember how I used to moan at him, for flopping his tail over the edge of the door onto the outside step so I couldn't shut the door behind me, bless his dear, sweet soul.

I haven't felt him around at all today but what I did notice yesterday afternoon when I got up from my little nap, was the robiin has finally discovered the new bird feeder attached to Dave's workshop, and as he sat there feeding from it, I looked out the window and smiled, he turned around, sat on the other edge and just stared at me, I wonder if that was Georgie popping in to say he'd arrived safely at the Bridge, I'd like to think so anyway.

I put one of the big beds from under the stairs, which Georgie favoured, into the back of the estate yesterday, ready to take to the local rescue centre, but when I got Zena in the car after our walk, she immediately went into it, sniffed it and laid down happily in it - of course, it smells of her friend, so I'm going to leave it in there now, at least for a while.

Zena is being impeccably behaved this morning, no pestering me, just happy to lie nearby and watch me getting on with stuff, whereas usually, she's pestering the life out of me with that ball, so maybe this will be a change for the better, I quite like her like this!

I've spent more time talking to her and giving her more cuddles (she's not really a cuddly dog like old Georgie was!), and I've told Dave, she needs us more than ever now, so no matter how much he's hurting, please not to ignore her because of his own pain, and I think he's realised, he stops and fusses her every time he passes her now. She didn't do her pinning him to the chair thing last night either, she normally pins him down in it and slobbers his face, but she was happy to be quiet and sleep last night, that'll all change I hope!

Oh deary me, I feel like sh*te, I probably look like it with my puffy eyes, but it's gotta be, I have to let it out when I want to, it'll help through all this pain.

I'm really looking forward to getting him back in his little scatter box, because we are going up on the top of Cissbury Hill where he loved to potter along with us, and I can stop and say hello to him each morning. Then again, thinking about our move, it might be better to leave that for a while so that we can take him with us, along with the horse and dear old mum, who's still sitting on that fireplace wondering why I haven't set her free yet! Funny how she always told me she wanted to be in a cardboard box, nothing fancy, just a cardboard box and chuck her in a skip lol, and the horse is in a very posh, walnut casket alongside her! She didn't like being shut in, so there's no way I could bury it, so she'll just have to move with us again and be scattered in our new garden with Georgieboy.

Thanks again all, I'm feeling a lot better than yesterday, but it comes in waves, just like it always has, but I'm coping, it's Dave and Zena I'm more worried about, so I'm there for them.xxxxxxxxxxxxx

(((Hugs))) to you all H, I'm still thinking of you with tears in my eyes. xxx

Thinking of you today H. It will be sinking in

It has broken my heart reading your updates all about him - massive hugs to you and Dave. I know how utterly devastated you will both be.

Huge love to you both xx

With each passing day it'll get just that tiny bit easier, Helena. It takes time before you can mention their name without the tears and sadness welling up each time, but there's no hurry, really there isn't.

Keep that bed for a while. Quite often the ones that are left behind find comfort in the familiar scent being around for a while while they adapt and adjust.

Pour your energies into Zena now. She will benefit from it and Georgie will know that it's your tribute to him .

That little Robin was just one little messenger. Give him time to settle in and I'm sure there will be more little clues that he gives to let you know that he fine now xxxxx

only just seen this Helena, so so sorry to be reading this, thinking of you, Dave and Zena xxx

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww MASSIVE hugs from us over here, your updates are so touching and so deep from within your heart, I am so sure that the robin visiting was Georgies way of letting you know he had arrived and was ok and running/flying free!!

Take care of yourself as well as Dave and Zena, it is all to easy to forget you xx

It has taken me a while to get used to the places where Selkie isn't anymore. ...

My friends think I'm mad, but you will understand I think... I bought a sheepskin rug. A big white fluffy one... Sometimes I put it on the floor at the end of my bed, sometimes at the top of the stairs where Selkie used to lie... Just having that big white fluffy rug is enough to have a place in the house where I can stand and feel her with me, or pat and smile at a fleeting memory of her. Pharaoh has taken to sleeping on it. So it will hold both memories now when he leaves me too.

I still dream of her... Sometimes I dream that she woke up again at the vets after I had gone and was lost... Those dreams are the worst now. The ones where I can't find her, but I know she's looking for me, lost and alone. The guilt has all but faded. I know I did right by her. I know it was her time and that the last few months were more about me needing to have time to say good bye than her enjoying her life. The worst guilt hits now when something happens and a thought comes unbidden "you could never have done this if Selkie were still with us." Then I feel a wave of guilt, or rage if it was said by someone else... I would put up with all the inconvenience and smell and noise in the world if I could have had just one more day with my happy shining smiling girl.

Oh Helena...

It does get better

But it never goes away.

Huge hugs to you all...