Hi guys,

Just a little update, and no doubt more of a moan. We lost my Grandmother yesterday She had been in hospital for a couple of months due to alzheimers and problems from her diabetes. She had an infected foot and they had planned to remove her leg because of it Having Alzheimers i thought it would have been the worst thing for her, just like torturing her before she died Thankfully, she went befvore it got to that, bless her. She died peacefully in her sleep. They'd given her a cocktail of painkillers so she was comfortable and its definately for the best, im glad for her that its over as she was in so much pain. My grandad is so upset and i feel really bad for him, they'd been together about 65 years!! Without wishing to sound harsh, that has made things a little easier as it was such a worry for all of us, and it was awful to see her in pain.

Moving onto my awful man trouble. I think i said he was getting tested to see if he can have kids - No news on that yet If the test says he can (which i expect it to!!!) i'll probably never hear from him again as he'll feel so stupid for what he said!!! I also spoke to my friends husband, who happens to be a solicitor. Somehow i managed to mention it, just hypothetically And it turns out that if his doctor ex/friend tries to access any of my medical records without my permission i can sue her So if the guy starts digging for more info i think i'll mention that to him. Apparently she can lose her medical licence if she tries anything like that, doctors have to be so careful!!

Feeling a little better now though I have a job interview tomorrow, and another later in the week. I have all my doggies here to cheer me up when i need it, and my little Kai is looking so much better. I gue i just had a bad week last week so sorry for my moaning

Ohhhhhhhh Jessica- my heart goes out to you. I lost my grandmother too for the same cause. All I can tell you is that- they are so out of themselves- not able to register pain or even how to breathe. Your grandmother was not there anymore- and this was a hard fact for me to face as well..
I wish I could give you a hug. I know it hurts! Just please remember- 'she" was not there anymore.. {{{{{HUGS}}}}

at the end of the day jess you know you was pregnant and you know he was the dad, if he doesn't believe you thats his problem to deal with not yours.
a job will come along soon, but go and see the doctors and get the lumps checked out,sorry to hear about the parrots i hope kia carrys on improving.
now go and get a drink and give the dogs a cuddle!
sorry to hear about your gran, but your right no one can access your medical records and the doctor cant release them without your consent.

borzoimom - Thank you so much It was awful to see her like that. She didnt know who she was in the end and would just sit there smiling vaguely... Such a change from the proud woman she used to be only a couple of years ago. It was so hard for my grandfather to accept she wasn't there anymore though, more so than the rest of us. He used to get annoyed when she said she didnt remember things, and would get so upset when she didnt recognise him. Its the worst kind of torture for the friends and family isn't it?
Leo - Although i know its his problem, the way he talks to me almost makes me feel guilty for telling him He goes on about what i've put him through He doesnt seem to comprehend what i have gone through losing a baby He seems to think its ok to yell at me and call me all the names he can think of... Im fairly sure he's not entirely right in the head Im starting to wonder if this doctor friend even exists and maybe he was just making it up to try to bully me into saying i wasn't pregnant??? It all just makes no sense and i think i'd be best trying to put it all behind me really... Hard, but probably for the best...

Have you thought about contacting Cruise? It's a charity that deals with bereavement. It might help

I hope you start to feel better soon hun, if not, have a chat with your doctor xxxxx

Hi Jessica, sorry I didn't see this until now.
Glad you are feeling a bit better, some guys just need a kick in the soft bits, it's all about them and how they feel. What about you and your feelings. It makes me mad!
I'm sorry about your Gran, I've been there with my mil, she lived with us for 12 yrs up until she died, she had dementia and was clinically depressed. You are quite right she is better off where she is now. I too may seem harsh but I think it helps some times to be realistic.
Do take care, you are in a vunerable condition at the mo.
x

sorry your haveing hard time ,things will get better my friend ,they all ways do ,in time you will look back and wonder how you coped but you will keep strong ,dont bottle things up either ,let it out go to the closest person to you tell them how your feeling ,you need company a shoulder to lean on .god bless x x