I still cry and feel guily about my morgie at least once a day and I cant imagine it being overwise. I'll be talking and I remembder something he did and I smile then sob.
I think its a testement to a super dog I had the privalidge to own for a short time and I know where ever I go he'll be waiting for me with shaking an unopened packet of smarties.
Morgie never recovered from the anaestetic of an x ray after he snapped hos cruciate. I make myself think it was a better way to go than suffering but i never forgave the vet for putting him throught it.
I know what your going through xxxx

I feel for you, but have no advice (sorry) as I PTS with no qualms if a dog is suffering.

Hugs x

I am a vegetarian too, have been since the age of 3, and I share your views about looking after all creatures, but when an animal is in pain, or confused because of old age we have a duty to do the best for it, and sometimes the best thing is to let it go, we can't keep an animal alive when it is suffering that would be selfish and uncaring of us, it is the final act of kindness we can give them, knowing that we are breaking our hearts in letting them go, but one thing we needn't feel is guilt because we let them go because we love them, and they do know that I am sure.

You have to let yourself go .
You released Frump, you didn't want to, but you had to. I had to make the same choice for my Jacjack, it's not easy, but it is our responsibility, we can't explain the pain, we can't explain the world or the confusion, but we can take it all away and set them free. It is selfish of us to keep them here locked in their bodies when it is within our power to set them running free.

Frump will never be gone, there will always be a Frumpy hole in your heart, but you cant let that hole be filled with guilt and sorrow, that will sit like lead and weigh you down.

Fill it instead with love and laughter. Fill it with all the happy memories Frump is wait for you to empty all that guilt out of the hole so he can bundle in with giggles and hugs. Think of all the good things, all the laughter and love all the silly things. Soon there will be no more room in there for anything else. Let Frump lead the way, your memories of him will tell you what you need to do. Sometimes it will lead you to a rescue centre, sometimes it will lead you to those left behind. Jackjack lead me to Kismet and seems to have left enough room to look for a foster dog too...

Make some room in your heart for love.

As long as you carry Frump with you, they are never gone.

Thankyou so much, all of you, sanuch beautiful replies. The poem says it all, I have printed it out, and will put it in my Frump scrapbook. I had tears running down my face when I read it, it is wonderful. I did hold him while he passed, and somehow managed to hold back the tears until he had gone as i didnt want him to feel fear or concern for me. I just miss him so very much. I keep dreaming of a small black dog with a red collar, Frump was medium size, black, with a blue collar, so maybe he is trying to tell me he is like a puppy again! I would dearly love to go back to the rescue centre from where I got him and ask him to choose me another dog, but circumstances at the moment prohibit. We do have another dog, Flo, who is a great help and she doesnt seem to mind me talking to her about Frump, which I do now and then (though I doubt she remembers him now?). There was a really tear jerking moment however about three weeks ago. Flo was in the garden and suddenly ran in and was barkiing in huge excitement, running up and down and almost screaming in hysteria at the front door, as if she was waiting for someone to come in and couldnt wait to see them. I wondered what the fuss was about, but then my husband told me he could hear a dog barking in the distance outside, and the dog sounded just like Frump. How heartbreaking, just for a moment there, Flo thought Frump was wcoming back, oh, if only...
Thank you all, I KNOW I did the right thing for my old soldier, I just needed to have that affirmed I think? Bless all of you, and for those still grieving, take care, and thank you so much. The bizarre thing is, Frump had a nicknmame that I never used, but my first, (now deceased) husband did, it was Frumpy. One of the posts mentions a Frumpy hole, so hey, maybe he is being looked after by his daddy eh?

Further to my reply above, I think also what I was trying to say was "Did I do it at the right time?" My biggest feeling was that I may have had Frump pts too soon, he may have been Ok and had a couple more comfortable months left which I deprived him of. I have taken great comfort from the line of "Better a day too soon than a moment too late" in dealing with that particular train of thought, so thank you for that. It WAS ineveitible that he would have to be PTS, I suppose I was concerned that in the end, the decision was so quick and the last thing on my mind that morning when I woke up. I guess this is not uncommon either. I would NEVER let a dog suffer, despite my "First do no harm" way of living, and in the case of my last dog who was PTS, it was very much my decsion as she had a brain tumour which I knew was never going to get better. The problem with Frumps decision, was that all the various ailments he had were all so vague. It was really other people who noticed changes in him, more than us. I suppose in my heart he was always young and healthy. He had bounced back fromso MANY illnesses and mishaps in the past that I think I thought he would just go back to being silly old frump at any moment, and didnt fully realise what was happening to him. Looking back now, even reading my email, I can see how desperately ill he was. It was only after he died that I realised just HOW MUCH he used to cough and pant. Again, only after he died did I realise HOW MUCH he used to get up and wander around at night. THe dementia took longer to notice, because he had always been a sandwhich short of a picnic, so it was much harder to spot for us. We used to joke that he spent life facing the wrong way, and I reckoned that when times got tough, that was probably quite a good philosophy to have!. Thank you all so much for your words, they really have helped, especially the beautiful poem. Odd line though re liking winter the best, I had only been thinking a couple of days ago how i was finding it really hard having winter without Frump, and couldnt wait for it to be spring. Do you think he knew?
Thankyou once again to all who replied, and I hope the replies will help others also who are going through this. God bless, all of you

I haven't got any advice for you Suew, but I can see that having your dog PTS has left you with very conflicting feelings.

It sounds to me that you're feeling guilty about having Frump PTS and that he is maybe blaming you.

From what you said in your post, Frump had a lot of health problems and he was a grand old age. But that doesn't stop the feelings of guilt and the feeling that you have harmed your dog.

I think all of these feelings are totally understandable and you wonder if they will last forever. I know from my experience, that my feelings about similar things seem to have diminished with time.

Hopefully one day you might be able to remember all the lovely times you had with Frump. Although my opinion isn't important, I think you did the right thing, although it is so painful for you now. But your Frump isn't in pain anymore. I really hope that you are ok and that the pain will ease in time.

xxx

No, you are not the only one who feels like this. My lovely little girl, aged 18years and 7 months was pts on 9th January. I akways said I would never do this, unless of course she was in insolvable pain, but she ended up having a massive fit and was still "rigid" the vet said and looked at me waiting... I knew I had to let her go. I, frankly never want to go through this again. The house is so empty without her and I am out from dawn to dusk only to return to bed without her. You, obviously did all you could for your dog, as I did. Its the missing her is the painful part and that seems to me the price we pay for loving a dog too much. God bless you.

Left my old girl miles too long, she was a horrible derranged, aggressive, and unsafe creature in immense pain near the end..our beloved family dog was long dead, so letting her go eventually was just the next step
Have to echo better too soon than too late, otherwise guilt weighs you down and the bad takes over the good

Sue, you could always try contacting the Blue Cross. They have a strictly confidential volunteer helpline, or by email with trained people who can listen to your worries and feelings.

Have a look at their website as I think (whilst the advice on here has been utterly superb) you might find it helpful - http://www.bluecross.org.uk/web/site.../PBSSIntro.asp

xx