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Location: South East UK
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 27,437
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Originally Posted by
wendyann
I am crying here reading your posts, dont know what to say to you? Happy birthday first, and secondly, you are the daughter every one wishes they had, you looked after your Mum like no other, you could have done no more, these are the hardest days of your life, and my heart goes out to you, thinking of you and sending my love xx
Well for somebody who didn't know quite what to say, you managed to say it all there Wendyann, for which I thank you, these words mean so much to me as you can imagine.xxxxx
Originally Posted by
Lorna
I'm so glad you felt good about seeing her again. I found it really helped me, especially as the last I saw of my mum was her struggling so hard in my arms to stay with me, so to see her so peaceful was a blessing for me and I'm glad you felt the same.
She would love all that you've done for her honey, she's a lucky lady to have had such a strong woman as a daughter.
Don't feel bad for me, I only had 19 years with my mum, but that was the only time we were meant to have together in this life, and I'm ok with that now, I miss her everyday, and it has taken nearly 5 years for me to stop shedding a tear everyday, but not one single one goes by where I don't miss her, but its not a negative emotion anymore, its just a nostalgic one, I wish she'd see me get married and things like that, but it just wasn't meant to be.
Like you I have comfort knowing that she is out of pain, that will help a lot in the passing months and years for you. I hope that Tuesday is a lovely day for you, don't feel bad if you bawl your eyes out!
She was an incredibly special part of your life, be proud of the part of her that lives on in you xx
So many times I've said to myself "oh lordy, I'm getting just like my mother", and over the past 3 years I have now seen that I clearly do take after her and not my father, I have the bad bits as well as the good bits of course, and you can bet your bottom dollar, when I get to her ripe old age, I'll be giving them just as much stick in a care home as she was, but in the nicest possible way, just like she did, coz there'll be nobody here for me to care for me like mum had, and she kept saying to me "I hope you have somebody to take care of you when you're old and frail like me, just like the way you care for me" and I don't think Dave would be cut out for that somehow, he's told me already he hopes I go first coz he just couldn't handle a cantankerous old H!
Who could though?! They can't even handle me now, let alone if I was miserable and in pain, and yet she carried on regardless, just like the old trooper she was, cracking her jokes to the staff and giving them that great big smile of hers. She was my inspiration, my guide, and she will carry on being just that no matter that she's not here, coz I held on to every word she told me, so I'm just as smart as she was, and I hope to stay that way for as long as she did too.
When I went to the care home the other morning for her clothes and some photographs, a little old lady was sitting outside in the sunshine, and I always stopped and said hello to her when I visited, and she got up, walked over to me, held me by the hand and said how very sorry all the oldies were, they will miss her interesting little chats they had, and they're very sorry to have lost her too. I was worried that she wouldn't make her way back to her seat without her zimmer
, so I got it for her just in case she fell over
3 of the staff members are coming to the funeral because they loved mum so much, which I thought was nice, coz they don't have to do they, I've paid the bill up to date, so I take that as a compliment that they are wanting to come, I'm so glad I found that place, they've also been so very caring to me, but then I got to know them all so well having visited most days, taking the dogs or just Zena and always cream cakes!