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Location: Sheffield
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 7,856
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Originally Posted by
Gnasher
Lottie : I feel that if you reprimand (gently of course) Takara when she barks at roughly behaving children, you are doing exactly the right thing ! You are telling her, look you silly sausage, there is nothing to be scared of ! they are only stupid children who know no better, here, look at me, I'm not scared, so you shouldn't be. See? By pandering to her fear, you are reinforcing it. By not telling her off, you are saying there, there, Takara, those nasty noisy children, of course you are scared, so am I, you go ahead and bark at them as much as you want ! She is then going to learn that it is OK to bark at children, or whatever is frightening her. Much better is to teach her, by your own positive body language and calm assertiveness, that there is nothing to be frightened of.
Yes, my boy Hal was scared of fireworks. So what did I do? I made him face up to fireworks ... not outside, I felt that would be too cruel. I took him into the conservatory and sat with him in there watching the fireworks through the glass. Every time a firework went off, I gave a shout of delight ! O look Hal look, aren't they pretty ! Doing everything I could through my positive body language to show him that fireworks were fun. When a particularly loud one went off, I would excite him by saying Hal, Hal, fetch the firework, in the same voice I would use to chase next door's cat out of my garden. He got the picture. I then took him outside and we sat on the patio with all the bangs and whistles. This was a bit more scarey for him, but by the end of the firework display, he was lying down by my side calmly.
Hope this helps.
You're just trying to wind me up, aren't you?
PLEASE do not tell me what to do with my dog!
I know how to deal with her issues and didn't ask for any help. I am
always being given other people's opinions on how I should train my dog despite not asking for them.
I do not comfort Takara, I do not ignore her doing it. I work on it at the time. She doesn't 'get away' with it... she just isn't punished for it either.
As soon as ever I see children I start the whole 'oh wow! look there's children! Oh isn't that great! Here's a treat!' she's getting much better and when children approach calmly I ask them to feed her a treat and ask them not to fuss her unless she's sat watching me and not facing them because that is how it is best
for her. I don't let them fuss her if I think she's not in the mood for it but they don't seem to mind if they get to feed her a tit bit.
When children run screaming at her there is nothing I can do to stop them and that's when she barks at them.
My point is I will not reprimand my dog for communicating. It is SO very unfair to expect a dog to be ok with everything all the time, they are living breathing creatures with their own emotions and feelings. To expect a dog to be ok with everything all the time is to deny it it's natural reactions and instincts.
I do not pander to her - some people think I'm too soft because of my lack of correction but others believe I'm too harsh because I don't let anything go unnoticed.
If she barked at a child that was a reasonable distance away I would (and have) tell her in no uncertain terms to 'leave!' but I do not punish her - there must be a reason for it in her mind.
Originally Posted by
Gnasher
Lottie you said: Correct me if I'm wrong, but I take it you have never actually been put into this situation with Tai as you keep saying 'if he ever did'. You are lucky that you have not had to deal with it but as someone who has I can tell you it's not always as straight cut as you may think!
Yup, you are right, Tai isn't scared of anything, he came to us as a rescue with no issues, just a lot of bad manners, which I sorted out within days. However, you have got me thinking, because there is one thing he does have, and that is huge separation anxiety. Now, this is something where I don't believe "going through the paces" will help. Through no fault of his previous owner's really, Tai had to be left Home Along for many many hours sometimes, his owner worked in the pub trade. I do not believe we are ever going to get him over this, and I will be quite honest with you, I don't want to try. We find it no problem that he has to come everywhere with us, the sacrifice of never being able to go into a restaurant for dinner, or the cinema, or abroad, is a sacrifice worth making. We left him alone for 2 hours whilst we went to a parish council meeting, and he ripped through a mahogany front door in his attempts to get to us. This deep rooted phobia is perfectly natural, just as it was my previous dog Hal, who was the same type - mal x husky - they have a very strong pack instinct and just cannot be left alone, unless you have more than one, and even that can be tricky. I am not sure we would ever be able to undo the pain and suffering of the last 6 years, so I am not going to even try. As far as we are concerned, it is not a problem, just part of loving Tai ! And Hal before him.
Having told you that, you might call me a hypocrite !!
Personally, I find SA one of the saddest of all issues and one that I would work on with a dog that is only 6 years of age.
The reason? What IF something completely beyond my control happened and he couldn't stay with me? What if something terrible happened and he had to be left alone?
This is probably because I know I am sick. I have always spent time getting my dogs used to spending time alone (even though they come to work with me and go everywhere possible with me), I've got them used to sleeping downstairs and also with the occasional night in my room so that they are also used to being crated in a bedroom with me in case this was needed one day.
I have tried to get them used to being left longer than I would happily leave them and I have always tried to ensure their behaviour is that of a dog that people would love to rehome in case anything ever happened to me. (Yes Takara has developped issues but these were beyond my control - again something I don't want to go into and I am trying to put them right) I have no intention whatsoever of rehoming either of them but what if??
So yes, my personal choice would be to work on it but I'm not about to lecture you as to whether you should work on Tai's SA and how you should do that. He's your dog, your choice. Nothing to do with me.
So please refrain from telling me what I should be doing with my dog... it's a waste of your time and mine because I've stopped taking advice when it hasn't been asked for because I got so much of it that I made a mess of things trying to do what everybody told me to do.
I now go with what I know and if I'm unsure I ask someone who's advice I trust.