For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
* Do something she likes, and you get points.
* Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
* You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed .............................................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1
You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
in the snow.............................................. .....+8
but return with beer..........................................-5
and no liners............................................ ....-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night..................... 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5
You pummel it with a six iron................................+10
It's her cat............................................... ..-40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party............+1
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with
College drinking buddy......-2
Named Tiffany.........................-4
Tiffany is a dancer..............................-10
With breast implants.............................-18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday................................0
You buy a card and flowers...............................0
You take her out to dinner.............................. 0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.............................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night..........................-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted the colors of your favorite team........-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.......................................0
The pal is happily married.........................+1
The pal is single..........................-7
He drives a Ferrari........................-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie...............+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate......+6
You take her to a movie you like......-2
It's called Death Cop 3...............-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans....-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.........................-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of
it...+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and
baggy Hawaiian shirts.......................-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."............-800
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding....................-10
You reply, "Where?"................-35
You reply, "no, I think it's your ass".........-100
Any other response.......................-20
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned statement...................0
You listen, for over 30 minutes........................+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying
"well, what do you think I should do".................-50
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+100
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep.........-200