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Location: East sussex
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,862
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Shoplifter
A very cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away.
She complained and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process.
When she appeared before the judge, he asked her what she had stolen from the store.
She defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches."
The judge then asked why she had done it.
"I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."
The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.
replying in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?"
"Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach."
As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband raised his hand and asked if he might speak.
The judge said, "Yes sir, what do you have to add?"
"Your Honor, she also stole a large can of peas."