Thanks everyone, such lovely, lovely messages for me to read through my tears this morning
Got up late coz the blooming alarm was going off at 3.00 am. over the pub (I really needed that last night!
)and I rang the police after 15 minutes of it, only to be told they didn't care, so I told them nor did I, so what was the whole point of the alarm then?!
She had the cheek to ask me if I saw any suspiscious goings on, I told her the only suspiscious going on would be me going over there with a brick to throw through their window if somebody didn't stop it, but she advised me against that and assured me it would stop after 20 minutes! Great!
Had a lovely, long slow walk with the dogs and had a good chat about what to do, so I've managed to sort out what to say tomorrow when the Coroner rings me which he will apparently. We've even discussed about whether to take her ashes back to Poland, but then they're not so happy memories for her and I'd be worried I'm sending her somewhere dark, so then we thought about Mallorca, her favourite beach there, she so loved the sea, so we might do that, but for the time being they'll be kept here at home until we've decided which way to go.
Mum didn't want a service, nothing, no flowers she always stressed that to me, so I have chosen a large directors parlour who have a small private service room, where mum will be with us, and afterwards they will take her on to the crem, and that way, we wouldn't even have to go to the crematorium, and I think that'll be rather nice, just us close family and friends, so that's what I'm doing. I have chosen her favourite songs, and bugzy kindly directed me to this wonderful poem which I might also use for her service, so thanks for that bugzy! I am also going to the care home tomorrow to collect her favourite dress that she never did get around to wearing, she loved that dress, but never actually wore it, so I'm going to make sure she gets that put on her for her final farewell, she'll like that,bless her heart.
The paperwork can be left till later on, and you watch, it'll be sod's law that the funeral will be next Friday on my Birthday of all days, so I will never, ever be forgetting the day I lost dear mum, but if it's to be, it's to be, I won't ask to change it.
A busy week for me then, and the saddest week of my entire life, it's beginning to hit me and hard now, yesterday I was in shock I think, but today it's reality. My friends came round with cards and flowers thinking I was out, but I spied them through the kitchen window so had to let them in, and that was just awful, all of us crying in my kitchen, but I think I needed that. Although I have all these lovely cyberhugs flying my way, it was really nice to get some real, hard cuddles this morning I can tell you! Zena is still jumping on my lap and licking my tears away, I've never had a dog who has done that before, not even Cassie, and Georgie is pushing me for cuddles more and more, but that's nice for both of us! I'm sure they know mummy's upset.
Thankyou guys, you've given me the strength to get through this ordeal I have ahead, let's hope I come through in one piece and don't need to go to the quack's for some of those happy pills, coz that'll be a first for me, but I don't think mum would do that to me now she's taking care of ME for a change! It's a very strange feeling that's for sure, but I have forever, such lovely, lovely memories to cherish which I'm remembering already without all the tears, on and off of course. Thanks again you lovely lot!xxxxxxxxxxx