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alexandra
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22-06-2008, 09:33 PM
Originally Posted by dori-katie View Post
Big hugs to you, so sorry to hear this but....
You have done the right thing, like you said what he said would of been in the back of your mind all the time.
xxx
exactly and it would have always made me feel crap
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Penry
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23-06-2008, 06:43 AM
Hi babe,

I am sooooo sorry to hear this news , crikey what a fool he is . . . . . !!!!!!! . . . . I saw the pictures of you and you are a very attractive, sexy, gorgeous, beautiful young lady, so you go out there and find a bloke who appreciates you for you, not for what he would like you to be.

If things were different and I wasn't married already then I'd be knocking on your door asking for a date . . .

You take care hun and big X's and hugs from me.

x x x x x x x
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Moonstone
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23-06-2008, 08:18 AM
Huge hugs Hunxxxx

What a complete @***, you deserve soo much better. You get out there , have fun, and never change for anyone!!!

He sounds like a complete loser, and you are so much better off without someone that shallow in your life! You are gorgeous as you are,he is stupid and shallow, he must be mad

Have fun , and keep smiling xxx
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alexandra
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23-06-2008, 08:47 AM
ok guys

last night he came home from work

he sat next to me and apologised

said he was stupid and wasnt willing to let me go. He said he had spoken to a lady at work and realised that we are both hugely stressed at the minute and that he was thinking of some male ideal but only realised that he already had it.

I said basically, how long will it be before we hit another rough patch and he thinks the same, what about if we had a baby, thats more stress than our work is!

He apologised and basically has asked for another chance and knows it will always be in the back of my mind and is really sorry.

But now i dont know

a friend yesterday asked if maybe it had gone too far and my feelings had changed too much and i honestly dont know.

I know from last night he really is sorry, he was heartbroken when he saw i had taken my engagement ring off, and has offered to stay at his parents for a while if i need space to think.

On one hand i want the family life and future with him and dont want to be alone

but on the other, part of me feels like i dont trust how long it will be till we hit another rough patch and these feelings get dragged up again.

His comments will always be in the back of my mind.

My friend spoke to me this morning and said that i really need to think about it but also think about what i would tell her to do if it was her in the same situation?

and to be honest i would say leave, but i know he actually does find me attractive and loves me and is really sorry.



Aaaarrgggghhhhh men!!!!

But the wedding is most definatley OFF!
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melsgems
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23-06-2008, 09:05 AM
Fair play to the guy.....he has seen the error of his ways. I think the best advice I can give is trust your own feelings. Don't be swayed by what you think other people would do or advise you to do.

You know how you feel about him, but please also remember people (men and women) lash out when they are stressed yes he said hurtful things that will stay with you for a long time.....but is it worth losing him altogether?

Delay the wedding take time out, he obviously loves you or else he wouldn't be back.

The ball is in your court, if anything good has come out of this its that you really know how he feels and you probably really know how you feel about him...one way or the other...


Good luck am thinking of you

Mel xxx
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alexandra
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23-06-2008, 09:35 AM
my own feelings are that as much as we love each other we will make each other miserable...yeah it might be good for a few months but will slip back into how it was
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Moonstone
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23-06-2008, 09:37 AM
MOre hugsxxx

The only advice I can give, is follow your instincts, if he really is the one, it will work itself out, take some time to think about what you honestly want

Give each other some space, and look at what it is you feel, you will make the right decision for you, just give your self some time

He may be completely stressed by the wedding, it happened to my friend, they are still together, but called the big wedding off, and got married in a tiny quick ceremony a few years later.That was ten years ago


Look after yourself, and concentrate on what you want.XXXX
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Lynn
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23-06-2008, 09:51 AM
So sorry to read all this. Let him go home to his Mums and see how things go, it gives you both space and time to think more importantly you, because it is you that has been hurt.
I hope whatever you decide you find happiness.
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Vodka Vixen
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23-06-2008, 01:34 PM
Originally Posted by alexandra View Post

On one hand i want the family life and future with him and dont want to be alone
Please do not just stay together because you fear being alone, a friend of mine did this and shes miserable!! Being on your own isnt all that bad. Try it for a while, once you get the feel for the independance you might just like it

Some space is the best thing for both of you right now, you will soon know if you miss him enough to want to put what has happened behind you


Originally Posted by alexandra View Post

but on the other, part of me feels like i dont trust how long it will be till we hit another rough patch and these feelings get dragged up again.

His comments will always be in the back of my mind.
If you decide to try again, you are going to have to let it go, or it will destroy you in the end.

All credit to him for apologising to you (not an easy thing for a man to do) but i am glad he feels bad for what he said to you. Even if you do decide to take him back, make him fight for you

Whatever your decision, I am 100% behind you xxx
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Shona
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23-06-2008, 01:53 PM
awe hun, how awful, you must be so confused,, try not to make any plans yet, give yourself a few days to think then decide what you want to do,

huge huge hugs,, your super just as you are xxxx

ps I admire you being so brave about it all xx
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