Medical notes

ACTUAL WRITINGS ON CHARTS IN HOSPITALS:

1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another
hospital.
4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably
insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the
past three days.
5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her
husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side
for over a year.
7. On the second day the knee was better and on the
third day it disappeared.
8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She
also appears to be depressed.
9. The patient has been depressed since she began
seeing me in 1993.
10. Discharge status: Alive, but without my
permission.
11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male,
mentally alert, but forgetful
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for
lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent
home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most
of her lifeuntil she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our
car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and
accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus
sized
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. Skin: somewhat pale. but present.
25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other
abnormalities.
28. Patient keeps asking the medical staff for
descriptions.
29. Patient is worried about the coat on his tongue.
He thinks it might be an ulster.
30. Patient has drops in his eyes, which he wants
taken out.

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