How do you adjust

To your kids moving out ?

We have had a chat with Luke and it seems he is determined that he wants to move out and get his own place,he has an interview this afternoon for a bedsit,it's a supported scheme designed for young people who need help,i.e those with learning difficulties etc who need just a little support but to help them live independently,they have to inform staff when they go out as to where they are going and they must all be in by 12 midnight.

He has also completed a social housing application form this morning so he can apply for flats,he wants to stay close to home but have his own independence.

I am sort of finding this exciting for Luke in one sense and but feeling sad that he now feels it's time to move on,I know he's 20 but he's still my child and perhaps that's part of the problem that in some respects we still treat him as such.

It's so hard to get my head around

No advice just {{{hugs}}}

You'll not only get your head around it, but will most likely enjoy your own new found independence and space once you know he's settled and coping in his own home.

You'll not lose him altogether because you'll still be there for him when he needs you.

The very worst that can happen is that he finds he can't cope and comes back home, but at least he'd be coming back with a new perspective on how easy he's go it living with you.

I had nightmares when my oldest lad first moved out (he does need support), but it turned out to be the best thing that could happen for both him and myself and now I often wonder how I coped when he did live at home.

Give it time and you'll soon come to both accept and appreciate your own time and space

I think my mum threw a party when i moved out at 18! I think there comes a certain age where you just feel too old to be living with parents?

Mine all left...
then they came back.
Then they left...
came back.
left
came back.
I`ve still got one here.

Seriously though, one of the things that worried me most with Sam was what would happen when I got too old to look after him. I know it`s a wrench, but it is a positive move - and it won`t stop you caring for each other.

Mine were older. the first left home at 26 and the second at 24 and they were already independant although still living here, they had well paid jobs, cars etc and it was the next step realistically, they both moved out into a property they were buying too which to me makes sense. I'm not sure I would have been happy had they left younger or before they were financially ready but what we see as ready and they see as ready are usually two entirely different things. They haven't come back but they would certainly be welcome if they wanted to. I still miss having them around but not in an empty nest way, I just miss them, not the cooking, cleaning and endless washing and not to mention there's always food in the fridge these days where as it would always magically disappear before.
I hope it all works out as he wishes x

I've just turned 21, left home at 16 when I went to college and lived in halls. I had my own independence but home was only an hour away by train/car if I needed (which I didn't lol).

At 19 I moved in with my bf in a rented place. Best thing I have done. It has taught me so much.

Dad was a bit worried at first but he was fairly young when he first moved out (and 300miles from home!) and could understand from my point of view.

Funny thing, although I still have one at home, and will have for a few years yet, the bit I found hardest when April moved out was getting used to only cooking for 3. We still get tons of leftovers cause sometimes we cook for 4.

Mum and Dad said the same thing when my brother and I moved out. It took them ages to get used to cooking for just the two of them.

I can't offer any advice, just know that he'll not be far away and I'm sure he'll pop in from time to time for some of Mum's cooking April still does it, she was here last night and was threatening to come again tonight