Just as everything had been going so well

Hi All

I am so very upset. Everything with Ben had been going so well after his operation a few months ago to remove his spleen and large the huge tumour which was growing on it. He recovered so well and we were so pleased to have made the decision to go through with the operation. It was like having a new dog again.

Ever since the weekend it is obvious that Ben is in a lot of pain due to his hip dysplasia. He has suffered with it all his life and occasionaly has a bit of lameness. When he was young he saw a specialist who said it was so bad he would be lucky to be able to live a normal life. However, despite this he has managed to reach the age of 10.5 with the very occasional use of painkillers (he is unable to stay on them permanetly due to a very sensitive stomach). We have been delighted that he has been able to manage so well for so long.

Since Saturday he seems to have turned into a old man, almost over night. He is really, struggling to get up and avoids it if at all possible. He is constantly drooling and swallowing. He has not been eating, I managed to hand feed him two small bits of food last night but that is all he will have. He is suffering from muscle wastage around the back leg and hips area. Last night the whole of the rear end was trembling and shaking. I did not take him out for a walk yesterday as he was just not up to it. He is also walking pitifully slowly. Just writing this I feel like my heart is about to break . It seems so unfair that this is happening after everything he went through a few months ago. He is also, when he is awake, staring into space and almost sometimes seems unaware of things around him.

I have made an appointment for Ben to see the vets this afternoon at 16.15. But I feel in my heart that the end might be close, I just can't bear to let him go - I know that makes me selfish, but I don't have the strength to be without him. He is my heart.

Any advise please from anyone who has been in this situation. I am just hoping that this is just a bad spell and he will pick up again, but seeing him like this is heartbreaking.

Tania

It may not be related to his hips at all so best get him checked over by the vet. Hugs to you and Ben though. I'm sure the vets will put him right.
Becky

Thanks Becky, you are right it might not be due to his hips, but I do feel fairly certain it is. When he is up they are also giving way under him when he is walking. Fingers crossed for the trip to the vets.

Hope all goes well at the vets for you. Xx

Thinking of you {{{Hugs}}}

Good Luck at the vets x

I'm so very sorry it has come to this for poor old Ben, especially after what you've all been through trying to make him all better. I know just how you feel when you say you can't bear to let him go, and I had similar with my old shepherd 2 years ago and she was only 11 and it broke my heart, coz the others had lived to a ripe old age way past 11. I think if you look deep into your heart, like I had to, you will find the strength. I said to myself one night at 8pm when I watched her getting up to come inside to her bed, which took her sooooo long, when only 3 weeks before she had come eagerly trotting in, I didn't have to think long and hard after I watched her that night , I just told myself I'm going to lose her anyway, so what am I waiting for? To watch her like that?? It was then that I picked up the phone and arranged for somebody to come out, and the 2 hour wait was agonising for us, but it didn't make me change my mind, I had looked deep into my heart, I knew it was better for me to have my heart broken than to see my baby suffer any longer, because I knew she was only hanging on for us, not for herself, she had no quality of that life left and I'd like to think 2 years down the line I did the right thing by her.

I wish you all the luck in the world at the vets today, take their advice whatever that might be, and take the time to look inside your self and if you really love her as much as you obviously do, then you will know when you look in those eyes of hers, I can tell you that much. My heart goes out to you, I remember your previous posts, I know your pain at this moment in time, I've been there.

Such a beautiful and poignant post Helen.

I now have tears in my eyes for you Tania. You have to look deep into Ben's eyes and try to listen to what they tell you. Has he had enough? Or is he in a bit of discomfort, but not ready to go yet?

I do hope the vet manages to make him more comfortable so you have a bit more time left with your precious boy.

I will be thinking of you and Ben this afternoon.

Huge hugs x

Hi Tania , just caught up with you..
I was only thinking about Ben the other day and wondered how he was doing.

I am so sorry you have these new problems with Ben after all he has been through .
Whatever happens you gave him the very best chance of a little more time....xx

I am hoping like crazy that the vet visit went better than expected and Ben is home with you.

Yes, me too.
Best wishes