Red Neck Guide

REDNECK GUIDE TO MEDICAL TERMS

BENIGN--------------------------What you be after you be eight

ARTERY--------------------------The study of paintings

BACTERIA------------------------Back door to the cafeteria

BARIUM--------------------------What doctors do when patients die

CESAREAN SECTION-----------A neighborhood in Rome

CAT-SCAN------------------------Searching for kitty

CAUTERIZE-----------------------Made eye contact with her

COLIC-----------------------------A sheep dog

COMA------------------------------Punctuation mark

D&C--------------------------------Where Washington is

DILATE----------------------------To live long

ENEMA----------------------------Not a friend

FESTER----------------------------Quicker than someone else

FIBULA----------------------------A small lie

GENITAL--------------------------Non-Jewish person

G.I. SERIES-----------------------World Series of military baseball

HANGNAIL-----------------------What you hang your coat on

IMPOTENT------------------------Distinguished or well-known

LABOR PAIN----------------------Getting hurt at work

MEDICAL STAFF-----------------Doctors' cane

MORBID---------------------------A higher offer than I bid

NITRATES------------------------Cheaper than day rates

NODE------------------------------I knew it

OUTPATIENT---------------------A person who has fainted

PAP SMEAR------------------------A fatherhood test

PELVIS-----------------------------Second cousin to Elvis

POST OPERATIVE----------------A letter carrier

RECOVERY ROOM-----------------Place to do upholstery

RECTUM----------------------------Damn near killed him

SECRETION-----------------------Hiding something

SEIZURE---------------------------Roman emperor

TABLET----------------------------A small table

TERMINAL ILLNESS-------------Getting sick at the airport

TUMOR-----------------------------More than one

URINE------------------------------Opposite of you're out

VARICOSE-------------------------Near or close by

My Brother-in-law will love these

rofl Ash they are brilliant

ROFLMAO!!!!

:smt003 very funny Ash

ROTFLMAO

Love them will post them in the english dept office !!lol

Rofl