In The Line Of Fire

Hi, On friday my OH daughter came down with the new baby,and her 2 year old,plus hubby,as a surprise.It soon turned into farce,Faye has been very up and down since the window episode,but it seemed to be OK,Saturday was in the kitchen with daughter,hubby was supposed to be watching children and the dogs,the next thing I heard were lots of shouting,rushed in,found Daugters husband,holding faye by collar and kicking her,it seemed the two year old,had joined in with play between three dogs and got nipped,didnt break skin,but because of his action,it just went out of control,I dont care who it is,but nobody is going to hurt my dog,even if she had been the culprit.So the upshot was,Daughters hubby left the house with the 2 kids and went back home.daughter was in a state,and I am in the dog house and all the negative feelings about me came to the fore,So my OH late Sunday took daughter and her terrior home,Not a word has been spoken,but I have made enquiries and have found a caravan for me and the dogs.I dont really want to run away,but have always said if I came between my OH family that would be it,and dont really want to stick around and be told Faye needs to be put down.Sorry for the rant.Gemini54

Bit hard reading your post but think I get the gist of it.
Seems like there were too many people and dogs in your kitchen!
I too would have protected my 2 year old over a dog
Not condoning him kicking the dog though, as that is out of order. The Parents or your OH should have been supervising the Child and dogs more closely.
I would have not put my dogs in a situation like you describe, with a toddler and a newborn and ME the owner not being in the room
Hate it when people put their dogs above children though, Protect the children and the dogs at the same time, by separating them in such situations.

I am really sorry you find yourself in this situation.

I expect your daughter's husband was panicking when he kicked Faye - we read of toddlers being killed by dogs and although it was obviously a stupid thing to do I suppose his only thought was to get the dog away from the child.

Try not to make any rash decisions while feelings are still running high. When everyone is over the shock, perhaps you could sit down and make some strict rules to make sure there is no possibility of it ever happening again.

I hope it turns out OK for everyone concerned.

I might not make many friends with my reply, but: a belgian shepherd vs. a 2 year old, no matter whos dog and whos child, isn't a very fair fight.

Lucky the child is not hurt but I would rather be quite apologetic about the dog's behaviour and worried about the child.

Hopefully tensions have died down now Gemini?

I'm sure that your son-in-law just acted in the moment and although whilst I don't agree with kicking a dog, I can understand his reaction.

The fact remains that three dogs and a toddler is not a happy mix and it seems that whoever was supposed to be monitoring the situation wasn't doing all that great job of it.

So, given that the kid is okay ( thank God ), you either have an inquest and start blaming one another, not the best of options IMO, or talk it out like reasonable adults. An apology and a re-think of how the situation be managed next time around might just clear the air. All problems exist because of lack of conversation.

Please don't run away to a caravan, it won't do your physical health nor your mental one any good at all.

I sympathise with you, I really do. It's not easy dealing with step families. My OH has five grown up children and although most of the time it's plain sailing, we do have an issue with the middle son at the moment.

He came to live with us " temporarily " whilst he got his "S@*t " sorted out. He's still here......, and TBH, we cannot bear the sight of one another much, which frequently leads to explosions and tensions.

Sleep on it all a few nights more.

Hi Thankyou it was my stepdaughters hubby who offered to mind them as he wanted to watch sport,When our dogs play they get up on their hind legs and box,but the terrier being wee was nipping the legs,then Oliver decided to join in,and he ended up getting nipped,but I blew my top,at my dog being picked up shaken and then kicked,they have no voice,we are there voice.You are right a lot of nasty things came out ,still havent heard from my OH since he took his daughter back,but will take your advice and give it a few days,but faye has been shaking and has started peeing everywhere,had her in bed with me,but she is in a state,have given her Bachs Flower remedy,but they take a while to work.Gemini54

Are you saying that your husband hasn't come back home since?

Oh dear it all sounds a real mess. I hope you manage to get it sorted out. I think the only course of action is to say that you are sorry the child got hurt, both your dogs will only ever be watched by you in the future and you will keep them out of the way when the children visit. Although it may not be what you want to say you are dealing with a presumably hormonal mother with a very young baby, plus toddler, and a dad trying to protect his children....admittedly in the wrong way, really protecting them would have ment watching both child and dogs, not the tv, and picking up the toddler as soon as the dogs started to play and getting you to stop them playing.

I have three stepish sons (9,14 and 17) and it can be hard as i don't feel for them like I feel for my own daughters...,but it's still my job (because I am the most dog savy person in the house) to protect them from my dogs and vice versa. When all five children are in the house the dogs are not allowed to play because it can easily get out of hand. They have to be in the room with me, crated with a chew or they can be in the lounge with the children as long as everyone is calm watching a film or something and the dogs are lying down.

I think if you run now you will always be seen as the one being in the wrong, instead you need to grasp the bull by the horns and apologise and say that you should have taken responsibility for supervising your dogs and will do in the future. I know it's hard, as well as supervising the dogs on a Sunday I am also cooking for five children and three adults...but it's just something we have to do as dog owners and the mum of the house unfortunately.

When did it happen? Do you know where your husband has been since?

Hi Yes her hubby went off with the kids,then my OH took her back home which is 5hrs I got a text from his older daughter,and I think he is trying to mend fences.So decided to leave everything alone,but I am not sorry for defending Faye,because she already has issues.So will face the music but Faye is going no where at this time or any time soon.Gemini54

Hi it happened Sunday,I know its a terrible thing to admit too,but have never been the maternal type,and admire people like yourself who can multi-task,and taking on 3 boys,that I just couldnt do,I was in Education since 4 and left finally after college etc at 23,I think in part the nuns did a good job,as I had endrometris since I was 17,and when that happened,the nuns used to say its your badness coming out,of course I now realise it isnt so,but it was left untreated until I came back to London,though I am not making excuses,I find the whole thing of being a mother awe inspiring and scary at the same time.So lost myself in work Gemini54