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Location: Lancashire
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 4,187
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13-07-2005, 07:04 PM
Subject: Men are just happier people
Men Are Just Happier People--What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You are first in line to the throne. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water theme park. You can wear NO shirt to a water theme park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress £1,000+. Morning suit rental-£100 People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is £5.00 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier
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Location: Pancake flat East Anglia
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,028
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13-07-2005, 07:44 PM
Originally Posted by Brundog
reminds me - my friend sent me this joke earlier !! - She is recently married !!!What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his intelligence?
Divorced.
LOL
dani
What do you call that shrivilled up bit of skin round a blokes neck-the wife!
and i shall now go run and hide!
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Location: West London
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 578
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13-07-2005, 07:50 PM
Originally Posted by Steve
I was told this one ages ago:What do you call that shrivilled up bit of skin round a blokes neck-the wife!
and i shall now go run and hide!
LOL
the OH doesn't fine that so funny 
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Location: away with the fairies
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 3,560
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13-07-2005, 08:06 PM
Originally Posted by Brundog
reminds me - my friend sent me this joke earlier !! - She is recently married !!!What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his intelligence?
Divorced.
LOL
dani
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Location: Clevedon north somerset
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,607
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13-07-2005, 08:42 PM
Originally Posted by Steve
I was told this one ages ago:What do you call that shrivilled up bit of skin round a blokes neck-the wife!
and i shall now go run and hide!
What do you call the useless flap of skin on the end of a willy....a man:smt005 :smt005 :smt005
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