Im upset again! (Sorry)

My sister died 3 and a half years ago leaving 2 sons aged 5 and 8 behind. The boys lived with their father (who my sister had divorced) because she was an alcoholic and had mental health problems. Anyway their dad married again 2 weeks after my sisters death to a Russian woman. Iv just found out off my mum that the father has put my youngest nephew into foster care because he says he and his new wife cant cope with him, the poor mite is only 8. Im upset and so is my mum. My mum would take her grandson in but shes not in the best of health and feels she is to old to be coping with a young child. I now feel I should be taking him in and feel guilty that I cant. Iv been wracking my brain all morning trying to think how to fit him in.

Tough one Sue.
But I´d say, dont take him in unless you know you can cope.
It will be worse on him if you have to give him up later on
So be carefull before you "go into battle about him".

If you feel you can cope, would it be an option to have him from time to time and see how it goes?

I know Amts, Im just upset about him, hes been put into foster care 50 miles from his home and the silly thing is he now has to travel 40 miles every day to school and 40 miles home again in a taxi. The school is just down the road from me.

I can understand why you´re upset. I sure would be too.

But his life is such more than school and he must have a need to feel wanted and listend to, not mentioned loved after all whats happend in his life.
Not trying to sound harsh, but can you give him that?

Oh yeah hes such a sweet little boy, I see him about once a month. Its more the logistics of fitting him in my overcrowded house.

Roxy, have PM'd you.

x Ingrid

Got it have replied! Thanx x

hmmm this is a tough one.
i guess you feel you should take him in due to your sister's little boy,i would be the same you will do everything to find room etc for him.
i think your mums right it is hard work with a 8 year old at their age. her oh said they can't cope with him? any idea why? plus he has already split the boys up which i think is completely wrong considering what they have been though.
what does your kids and hubby think to the idea? plus you have to consider the fact your other nephew may say he wants to come to you as well.
i would think hard about it you don't want to welcome him in then have issues to then turn him away it would do more damage than good to him.
i would say if you all want to give it a go then have him stay for holidays etc and see how it goes first on a daily basis.if every thing is fine and the bonds come through then make your choice about it becoming permanent with him.
maybe he has issues because of what he has been though and needs some one to talk to (auntie) at least you know how if feels/thinks to everything.
hope it helps but please don't rush into it for every ones sake.

What are your concerns about it?
Space? Time? Love? Money? The rest of your family?

Maybe if you write down your concerns and the good things about this, it will be an easier decision?
I dont know but thats how I would do it I think. And of course, make sure you have full support from your family to handle this.

What a terrible dilema to be in Sue, hope you sort it out what ever you decide to do. Good luck.