DIL s affair been sussed by Son!

They have been married 2 years have two children a 3yr old and a 1 yr old. DIL and I getting on famously lately after a dodgey start as she is only 20 now and I am old (fashioned) i guess, anyway she has had umpteen affairs and gets away with it as Son so gullible and us too, want to believe her. However this time was found out by Son finding used condom in his house bin, yuk, he is devastated as we are, However, he is an idiot and will let her away with it yet again, he behaves stupidly always buying her something to keep her happy, but cannot relax as he is forever wandering if she is out with yet another male ! Son given 2 days compassionate leave from his work which is kind of them and they are talking at least she is, she is hugging him and begging forgiveness, (he tells me via text) and I have to be quiet again and accept them staying tog and her carrying on as I know she will not stop having affairs or one night stands. The 3 yr old told me one day about a man being in the house with Mummy, I ignored it as he is only 3 but now think it must have been true, she has left the children alone to have xxxxxx with someone in the house, grr. Ah got it off my chest a bit anyway as not allowed to tell anyone till Son sure what to do and its driving me nuts as need to talk as so devastated again, heart beating extra fast feel sick and so on, goodness knows how Son must feel, says he is calm etc x

I think when your personal business is impacting on the kids she needs a bloody good talking to. Personally if that were me I'd be the interferring old bat of a mother and have words with the DIL!
Becky

Wow thanks Becky just what I want to do but felt sure you would say keep out of it etc so wanted to see what you though so appreciate that, will def go and speak to her as really concerned about kids, no wonder she is dressing them badly eg suymmer clothing on these minus 5 days, poor things, cant be allowed leaving them alone whilst she entertains grr

I agree too, this is your son and your grandchildren, there would be no stopping my mum, she would be straight in there!!

Good luck!

yep as a mother myself - i just cant believe she has so little respect for her children to think having sex is more important than caring for her kids. i would be giving her a piece of my mind too - and your son is better of without her - although he might not realise that yet

Make clear to her that if they do split up you'll be going for custody of the kids! She's clearly unfit to look after them properly if she is putting her sordid little needs above the kids.
Becky

This is a terrible situation for yourself and your son....but as bad as you are feeling I don't think it is a good idea to confront your DIL, all you will achieve by this is to alienate her, that is OK if your son decides to leave her for good, but if he decides to stay with her, (and it sounds like he is may forgive her) you may find yourself in a position where your son, has to take sides....and sadly it may be you that looses.

As in most cases the Hubby /Wife, will support his/her spouse, over a parent.....and if she takes offence at your interference (sorry don't mean it like that, but she may see it that way) you will be the one to suffer.

I think the only thing you can do, is be there for your son, listen to him, back him up, but try not to say to much about his wife, (just in case) maybe try and subtly make him see sense, hopefully he will on his own accord, see this as a doomed relationship.....but it needs to be him seeing this, without any input from you.

I think it is very hard for any parent to stand by and watch our children being taken for a ride, but as life sometimes turns out, the one who interfers may be the one who ends up loosing.

Tell him, you love him, you will be there and support him in what ever he decides to do.......then go away say a few prayers and hope he sees sense.

Good luck to you all.

I totally agree, it is so difficult to watch your children suffering but until he ends the relationship himself, all you can do is be there for him and your grandchildren.
I know this is not what you want to hear and I would be exactly the same. Love and best wishes Lorna x

Oh what a horrible situation.

I've been on the receiving end of an affair (my ex hubby) and I know how devastating it is. Your son deserves better. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy! I hope things sort themselves out with as little disruption for the kids as possible.

So sorry to hear your news, but I have to agree with Jackbox and Lionhound. Although it is so hard to watch this situation it is up to your son what he is awilling to put up with, only he can sort the problem, hopefully he can come to his senses and see that his children are suffering from her affairs. If you were to confront your dil there is every chance if your son sticks by her that you won't get to see the grandchildren, as she sounds a nasty piece of work. Let your son sort the problems himself but be there for him when you are needed. I know it won't be easy it is so hard seeing someone you love getting hurt. I do hope things will work out for all.