Fostering (the human kind)

As some of you may know my husband and I have been trying to have a family for a while now. Well 4 miscariges later and i am not sure how much more mind or body could take.

So i have started to look at other options for us to extend our human family. Rather then adopting i am more drawn to fostering but have no idea what is like in real life. I kow a few people on here foster so can you share some of your experiences to help me. x

YoungStevie is the one to speak to, her heart is as big as a whales' and she fosters regularly, human as well as taking in the four legged waif and stray. So she'd be my first stop if you want to know anything.

I have to say that I admire anyone who adopts or fosters children! I took on a stepson when I got married and it is one of the hardest things I think I have ever had to do! I am not what you would call a "mother earth" type anyway - although I adore my own son, and I do find it exceptionally hard to bring up someone else's - especially as he is at a really difficult age anyway.

Have you considered IVF? Sorry if you have already gone down this route.

I hope you can hear some more positive stories from those who do actually foster out of choice

My eldest sister has just been through the adoption process (and passed) and is now just waiting for the right children to be found. I have to say I have tried just about everything to talk her out of it.

Straight IVF isnt an option for us as i have a genetic issue which is what causes me to lose them. We have applied for funding for IVF with PGD (Pre-implantation genetic diagnosis) but that was in July and despite chasing havent heard anything back so its not looking good. We cant afford it ourselves as it would run the best part of £7000 which is a lot of money esp as it may not work.

Dont know why but adoption doesnt appeal to me . . .

I wish you lots of luck with this. Obviously there are a few people on here who foster who can give you a better idea. I just know that my aunt applied to foster and gave up halfway through the process, she found the interviewers and questions extremely intrusive, to the extent that they wanted to interview her sons who she has no contact with, wanted her to have psychological assessments as she had been abused as a child etc!! I'm not sure whether that is the norm or for some reason she got a very picky assessor.

I had very bad experiences when fostering but that was over 20 years ago. I would hope there is now more support and general back up.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

Any kind of child rearing can have its difficulties but can also have its joys.

rune

They are trying to make fostering and adopting more straightforward so hopefully it won't be too bad for you.

My own experiences probably won't help you but I wanted to wish you all the best. I hope you find the perfect foster child. Are you looking to adopt the right child eventually, or help lots of children?

Its a lovely thing to do. There are some fantastic kids out there.

I could write pages and pages on this but will resist the temptation. I would try to talk your sister out of doing it too !! Fostering is like adoption with all of the problems and none of the benefits.

Most likely the assessor thought your Aunt had 'too high standards' this is one of the things SS can not abide, plus the thought that they will be contradicted on any of their decisions about child rearing

err, dunno quite what you mean by that Someone who has a big house, a big heart, her kids have grown and moved away and wants to take in foster kids has 'too high standards'. Really? I actually find that rather insulting on her behalf.