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Location: East sussex
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,869
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King Harold recruiting his army
On the exact spot where my house is, it is the place King Harold recruited his army for the 1066 Battle of Hastings.
The first man to offer his services was an axe thrower
King Harold said " how good an axe thrower are you?"
The axe thrower said "Sire I am the best in all England""
"Let me see you cut that twig on that branch on the tree so it falls to the ground" said King Harold
So the axe man raised is axe and threw it and it cut down the afore mentioned twig.
King Harold was so impressed he made the axe thrower one of his personal guard
Next to offer his services was a spear thrower.
So king Harold asked " " how good an spear thrower are you?"
The spear thrower replied "Sire I am the best in all England"
King Harold set up a target and said "let me see you throw a spear into the middle of that target"
The spear thrower threw the spear and hit the dead centre of the target
King Harold was so impressed he made the spear thrower one of his personal guards as well.
The third person who offered his services was not a fighting man but the village idiot.
So King Harold asked him "What can you do to fight the enemy?"
The villiage idiot said he didn't know but wanted to fight instead of tending the cows in the field every day.
So King Harold gave it some thought and decided he might be good with a bow and arrow.
So he gave the villiage idiot a bow and arrow and asked him to shoot with it
Well the arrow must have bounced off every nearby tree.
King Harold was so worried he said "Put that man at the back of the army before he has someones eye out"